Selfless, Cold and Composed
by Filthy Roseward
Summary: One path is right, another is wrong. How can Edward ever deserve warmth when he craves the cold? Edward/Bella, Edward/Rosalie. AH, OOC. Rated M for a reason.
1. My Philosophy

A/N: Thanks to Project Team Beta for taking on this story, and for once again assigning me the very best betas in the fandom – Furious Kitten and Brianna.

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

It was during lunch when I first laid eyes on Isabella Swan.

I shouldn't have wanted to look when she walked into the cafeteria with Jessica, her big brown eyes darting around anxiously. It shouldn't have bothered me when she sat down at the table furthest from us and a crowd of eager boys surrounded her. I definitely should not have been straining my ears, trying to hear her, wanting to know what she was like.

Alice had been planting seeds for weeks, from the first moment she heard through the grape vine that the Chief's daughter would be starting at Forks High. It bothered Alice that I was single, and she wanted nothing more than to make me part of a functional couple. Just like Jasper and her and Emmett and Rose. Our so-called circle would be complete—a trio of perfect matches. I didn't need that, nor want it right now, so I'd done my best to ignore Alice and her suggestive remarks.

Apparently my best hadn't been good enough, though, because I'd still found myself visualizing what she'd look like and how she'd respond to me and my friends. And judging from my somewhat proprietary reaction to her sitting at a table full of guys just now, I guess I'd begun to imagine what it would be like to have someone just for me.

I watched as she glanced around the table, shyly greeting the hungry stares from her new classmates. She nodded politely at their inquiries, answering them while watching her hands peel the label from her soda bottle. She seemed timid, and I wasn't sure whether I liked that or not.

Beside me, Alice cleared her throat, and I realized she'd been paying very careful attention to my reaction.

"Ah, Edward. Something interesting over in Jessica Stanley's direction today?" Her smile and demeanor were triumphant.

Knowing there was no point in denying it, I responded, "You're not pretty when you gloat." Not wanting to get Alice's hopes up even further, I made sure I didn't look back toward Isabella's table.

"I'm not gloating. Not really. She was in Spanish with me earlier. Nice girl, I think. Studious. Just your type."

"Nice ass, too," Emmett added unnecessarily. A laugh escaped Jasper until Alice shot him a look. He suppressed it while Emmett grinned at me and winked.

Rose was looking over her shoulder at Bella, not caring if anyone saw her deliberate appraisal. "I don't know, Alice. Somehow I think sending that little sweet thing off with Edward would be like throwing a lamb to the slaughter." She looked back to our table, her wry grin briefly making contact with mine. She was sizing up Bella for me, and not surprisingly, she was unsatisfied with what she found.

"It's her first day," Alice answered. "I'm sure she's got a backbone in there somewhere."

I laughed at that and couldn't resist adding, "And I suppose it would be my job to find it?" My voice dripped with suggestiveness.

"Very funny," she snapped.

I kept grinning as I reached for my sandwich, enjoying the fistbump that Jasper and Emmett shared on my behalf. As I looked up to take a bite, Rosalie's eyes scorched me for the briefest moment. A look filled with hate and anger.

I didn't take my bite, instead staring at her in disbelief. Before I could ask what the hell was wrong, she was already looking away, flipping her blond hair over her shoulder as if nothing had happened. The look was so sudden, I couldn't decide if it was deliberate or not.

"You should ask her to come to La Push on Friday," Alice piped up. "Instead of coming with us in Emmett's Jeep, you could take her yourself. More time together?" she added hopefully.

My mind was still caught up with Rosalie, so Alice's question wasn't really appreciated. As I stared at my sandwich, I wondered if the look was supposed to mean something. Was she mad because I'd shown some interest in the new girl? Or was it just plain old disgust at my juvenile joke? Another part of me was trying to be more rational, telling myself that this was just the way Rose was.

Alice elbowed me softly, reminding me I still had a question to answer. Trying to be casual, I replied, "I don't know . . . don't you think her first day is a little too soon?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Edward. You know just as well as I do that if you ask that girl out, she's going to say yes. First day or not. And if you wait . . . You saw all those hungry hyenas around her?" She swirled her pointer finger around in the air for emphasis.

Jasper sat up a little straighter before slouching again, as though he was going to weigh in but then thought better of it. Conversations about girls when Alice and Rose were present were . . . practically non-existent. I'd hear his side later—when he was free to express his opinions without losing blowjob privileges. He was probably just going to tell me it was a bad idea.

I_ knew_ it was a bad idea.

This was not the time to get involved with some girl. Right now I didn't need the pressure of a relationship involving phone calls and dates and . . . I don't know, probably dances. Next year, definitely, but not this year.

I stewed on my thoughts for the next few minutes, occasionally catching smug grins from Alice out of the corner of my eye. She knew I was thinking about it, and that was enough for her to believe she'd made some stellar achievement. Alice, forever the optimist. Trying to rein in her sense of accomplishment, I spent the remainder of lunch keeping my eyes at our table and definitely not thinking about the possibility of dating the new girl. By the end of lunch, I thought I'd been somewhat successful. I suspected even Alice had let go of the idea.

But when I was getting ready to leave, she couldn't keep herself from asking hopefully, "Are you going to walk her to class?"

I let myself glance once more in the direction of Isabella. Maybe if I was unsatisfied with my current situation, I'd be more inclined to shamelessly chase after the new girl. Or maybe if she was more . . . impressive. Sure, she was nice to look at, and there was something exciting about the prospect of pursuing her—winning her over and beating out all the other guys. But right now, none of those things seemed to be enough. I was content to wait until I needed a girlfriend.

"I don't think so, Alice."

She gave an exaggerated pout, so I said a quick "later" to everyone and walked away before she could start whining.

"Edward, wait up," Jasper called from behind me. I stopped just long enough for him to catch up and then kept going. He didn't say anything to begin with, just fell into step beside me. When I was close to my class I stopped and looked at him expectantly, wanting him to spit out whatever it was he felt the need to say.

"You realize it would be a very stupid move?" was his grand advice.

"Did you not hear me before? I'm not interested."

"I heard you, it's just . . ." he glanced around us, like he was looking for potential eavesdroppers. Satisfied that we had privacy, he stared at me, eyebrows raised as though trying to convey some unspoken message. "I think Rosalie is right."

For a second, I panicked, thinking he'd seen the devil woman look she'd given me. But then I remembered Rosalie's definitive opinion of Isabella and I scoffed at him. As if I needed him to remind me that the timid new Swan girl was not my best match. "Don't worry about it," I said.

"Okay." He looked like he was going to leave, but then his face screwed up with indecision and he spoke. "I know how persuasive Alice can be, but I think this would be bad for everyone. And don't you dare tell her I said that."

Patting him on the back, I laughed. "How about this then: you stop trying to convince me to not hit on Isabella, and I won't tell Alice that you're interfering in her plans."

"Fine," he agreed as he rolled his eyes. "I'll see you later." He turned and headed off in the direction of his class, and I continued on to mine.

Most of the students were already seated when I got there, but my lab table was empty as usual. As Banner began writing up on the board, I perched on my stool, listening to the whispers around me. Most of it was about Isabella, and I smirked thinking how my self-important group of friends were not so far removed from the general population today.

And then she appeared.

Just showed up in the doorway.

With _Mike Newton_ practically salivating over her shoulder.

And that's when it first occurred to me that maybe next year would be too late. She'd already have someone like _him_ for a boyfriend. And where would that leave me? I'd have no one. I wasn't interested in any of the other girls in our year or even the younger ones. I'd probably wind up being the asshole who spent every weekend drunkenly hitting on girls he didn't like just so he could get off.

Isabella began heading toward my table, a blush spreading across her cheeks as she noticed my intense stare. She couldn't possibly know the thoughts going through my mind, but my expression was enough to make her shrink into herself. It was odd, seeing her react that way.

When she slid in beside me, I made sure to be as non-threatening as possible when I greeted her. "Hi," I said.

She peeked from behind her hair. "Hi." Her eyes lingered on my face for a moment, taking in my features, before looking back to Banner.

She seemed so quiet, but in an endearing way. There was nothing particularly earth-shattering about her; dark hair around her too pale face and wide, curious eyes. She could be any girl, but somehow that seemed to make her exceptional in a world where all the others had such strong personalities.

I wasn't wrong when I'd thought of her as unimpressive, as that's how she appeared. But looking at her now, I decided it was more a case of her being understated. Her plain, natural beauty was far more alluring than Jessica's shiny lips or Lauren's enhanced cleavage. And as she opened her notebook and began taking down Banner's notes, Alice's earlier description of her being studious came to mind.

A studious girlfriend would be a good choice for senior year.

Her eyes flicked in my direction, and I realized I was still blatantly staring at her. I dropped my gaze, not wanting to make her uncomfortable, and began to seriously reconsider my earlier decision.

The reason I wasn't really interested in having a girlfriend right now would not exist next year. Isabella would probably be the girl I'd want to date, but there was no doubt in my mind she would have someone else at that point. Suddenly, my logic in deciding that I didn't want a girlfriend right now seemed entirely flawed. It was true I didn't _need_ one, but there was nothing really stopping me. It might piss off Rosalie and Jasper, but not in any lasting way.

Now that I was finally allowing myself to consider having a girlfriend, my mind was running with it, coming up with very sound arguments as to why it would not be a good idea to wait. Maybe Isabella wouldn't want to be my girlfriend. That was the kind of thing that I should really find out sooner rather than later, right? And there were other things, too, that took time to cultivate. If I wanted a physical relationship with someone like her, someone not overtly sexual, then the sooner we started getting to know each other, the better.

It now seemed imperative that I at least start talking to her.

I cleared my throat to get her attention, and when she looked my way I smiled beguilingly. "My name's Edward."

Her cheeks flushed a little. "I know." Her admission made me wonder if Alice hadn't already been in her ear about me. At my surprised look, she offered, "Some of the girls were pointing out people to me at lunch." She put her head down a little and bit on her lip before adding, "I'm Bella."

"Bella. That's nice." She smiled and blushed a little more, all nerves and shyness. She was sweet, just like Rose said.

And sweet might be nice for a change.

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

A/N: I had an embarrassing number of pre-readers for this, so I'll just thank one each chap.

miztrezboo – you're the number one reason this story exists. Thanks for loving on Roseward as much as I do :) (And, you know, the whole Foldsy thing, too. Ya see the titles? Haha.)

I'm going to update as regularly as I can, but I honestly can't say how often that will be. I'll do my best though, okay :)


	2. Effington

A/N: Thanks to Brianna and Furious Kitten for the beta work, and to everyone who reviewed/alerted :)

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

We'd barely made it through her bedroom door when her hands found my face and pulled me roughly to her, banging us against the wall.

"Your mom will hear," I muttered against her lips in warning.

She began forcing my jacket off my shoulders. "You think she doesn't already know?" At my surprised expression, she added, "She doesn't care." Her mouth found mine again, and she yanked me by my collar further into her room. Once we reached her bed, I started trying to undress her, but she swatted my fumbling hands away and quickly undid her jeans herself, then mine. We didn't bother taking our shirts off.

Just as we were about to fall into bed, a jarring noise echoed around the room from my jacket which had been unceremoniously dumped on the floor. "Ignore it," she demanded and kept kissing me. Rosalie didn't suffer interruptions, but I couldn't keep going with the sharp noises from my phone reverberating in my head. When I pulled away to answer it, her huff filled the room.

I placed a soft kiss on her forehead saying, "I'm just silencing it." Quickly, I strode back over to my jacket and found my phone. As I turned the sound off, I noticed it was Jasper. "Remind me to call Jasper later."

"Remind yourself," she quipped as she sat on her bed, pulling her knees up under her chin.

She was cooling, and it made me smirk. She could be so predictable. I made my way back over to her, smiling the way I knew she liked, waiting for her to meet my eyes. Once she did I leant down and resumed our kisses, knowing that they'd be rougher now.

She eased herself back onto the bed, and I followed, smothering her with my body. I was doing it partly to relieve some of my need, and partly because it caused her to squirm. It began almost immediately, her wriggling and pushing, until eventually, she maneuvred us so I was on my back with her all over me. This part was like a ritual for us, a practiced routine in which we rediscovered each other every time.

She moved back up my body, and with her out-of-breath voice she whispered in my ear, "I want you on top."

I grinned against her neck. Rose usually wanted all the control, which I didn't mind at all, but every now and then, it was really nice to have the power. I obliged straight away, rolling us so I was pressing my body into hers and caging her with my limbs.

Whenever we were like this, I'd feel some notion that we were meant for each other. I mean, why else would it feel so perfect? Afterwards, I always felt ridiculous for even considering it, because even _I_ knew it was the sex that felt fantastic, not necessarily the person. Knowing that never seemed to help though, and as usual, my mind was running away with how right _we_ were.

And then just as quickly, it passed. She was lifting her ass and pushing herself into me as if she needed it harder. The gentleness was abruptly stripped away and we became raw lust. Her nails found my back, and she closed her eyes as I grabbed onto her hips with both hands and pounded into her.

Not long. It was not going to take long at all.

A moment later, I came, spilling into her as she squeezed me from inside. It was intense, and as I wafted down from the high, I couldn't move—didn't want to move. So I stayed where I was, resting my sweaty forehead next to her face. She opened her eyes and stared at me with amusement for a couple of minutes, but then the squirming started. Just to tease her, I licked her neck, tasting the stale perfume and loving it nonetheless.

"Ew, get the fuck off me." She arched her back and managed to shove me over to the side so I fell off her. With a chuckle, I stretched out, taking up almost her entire single bed and humming in contentment while she slipped away into the bathroom. It had been a week since I'd last been in this room, and it would be another week before I saw it again. I was going to soak it up while I was there.

I could hear the water running so I closed my eyes, not caring that I was half naked. I wanted her again already. Strike that, I wanted her _all_ the time. But that wasn't possible. It was stupid to even think it. Having her would mean Emmett didn't, and that wasn't right. He was a great guy who adored Rose, and she loved him. She was always clear that what we had was just a physical relationship—nothing more.

The door of her bathroom opened and she walked out wearing her underwear. I patted the bed next to me but she ignored it, instead going over to her desk and pulling open the drawer to fish out her cigarettes.

"I could use a cuddle first," I said, trying to urge her closer to me.

"What are you, a girl?" She held a smoke to her lips and lit the end, inhaling deeply. Rose only smoked after sex, so it was one of my favorite sights. She narrowed her eyes at my blatant staring and it reminded me of the death stare she'd given me a couple of days ago.

She breathed out slowly, directing the smoke out into the center of the room. Faint wisps of it reached me and it was enough to make me get up from the bed. When I reached Rose, I surrounded her with my arms and picked the packet up from behind her, adding a quick kiss on the lips for good measure.

As I lit my own cigarette, I muttered, "You wanna tell me why you glared at me during lunch on Tuesday?"

She didn't look at me. Another thick plume of smoke left her lips, although this one was more rushed. Finally, she said, "I don't want you seeing the new girl."

I exhaled myself, loudly, and wondered how the hell I was going to deal with this. There really was only one way to deal with Rosalie, though. Honestly.

"I already asked her to come with me to La Push on Friday."

This time she did look at me. And she looked annoyed.

"What?" I asked. "I never complain about you and Emmett. _Never_. And in a few months, you'll be leaving for college with him. Did you really expect me to not be looking for someone else?"

She angrily breathed out smoke. "You could at least wait until I'm gone."

I was torn between incredulity and concern. If she was annoyed by the idea of me sleeping with someone else, then that made her the world's biggest hypocrite. But it was so unlike Rose to worry about something like this, so I couldn't help but wonder . . .

"I'll still want to be with you, if that's what you're worried about?" I asked tentatively, not sure if I'd figured out what was wrong or just insulted her.

"And that makes me feel so much better." She cocked her head and gave me a condescending look.

Okay, maybe I'd managed to both figure it out and insult her. "I don't know what you want me to say. I thought you'd be fine with this."

She stubbed her cigarette out roughly, a telling sign of her frustration, which told me she at least realized her request was unreasonable. I knew with just a little more assurance, we'd be able to get past this and back on to more fun things.

"Look, nothing is even happening with me and Bella. We're just friends."

She glanced back to me, and her tense stance relaxed slightly. "Fine. Whatever. Just don't expect me to be nice to her or anything." It was as close to a concession as she would give, so I nodded my agreement.

I stubbed out my own cigarette and fanned the air to try and dissipate the smoke. There was no way the smell hadn't made its way downstairs for Rosalie's mom to notice.

Which reminded me of what she'd said earlier, about her mom. "Your mom really knows what we're doing up here?"

For a change of topic, I couldn't have picked better. Rose actually snorted. "Well, it's not like I've told her, but I'm sure she's figured it out."

"And she doesn't care?"

Rose looked at me and smiled with secret amusement. "Are you kidding? I'm sure she gets downright fucking giddy at the thought of us being together. You're rich and handsome—exactly what she wants for a son-in-law."

I crossed my arms, suddenly feeling a little exposed. "But what about Emmett?"

Rose walked over to the window and opened it just enough to let in some fresh air. "She likes him, but . . ." She straightened up and looked at me seriously. "You know, she once told me that his size was unfortunate, because it would be so hard for his wife to carry and birth his babies?" I screwed my face up, hoping she wouldn't continue. She noticed. "I know, right, it's such a needless thing for her to say. But all she's really doing is trying to turn me off. She does it all the time."

"That's really messed up." Emmett was one of the nicest guys I knew. I would have thought any mother would be thrilled he was dating the daughter.

Rose shut the window and headed back over to me. "You on the other hand . . . ." She stood in front of me and walked her fingers up my chest as she spoke. "You're from the very best breeding—incapable of having abnormally large offspring. Your father is a doctor, and no doubt you will be too. Your mother is our equivalent of a society lady, well-placed to introduce my mother into those circles." Her fingers had reached my neck, and she brought them to my hair, combing them through it with a wistful look on her face. "And don't forget the wedding pictures. She could hang them like the best works of Rembrandt: her beautiful daughter and equally handsome son-in-law." She lowered her hands and snaked them around my waist, slipping them up under the back of my shirt and pulling me against her. "So you see, she's not entirely crazy, just shallow and self-serving."

"She shouldn't try and run your life like that," I said as I let out a shaky breath. As disturbing as this conversation was, I was at least glad Rose was back in the mood.

"It's not forever." She pulled the hem of my shirt up and I lifted it over my head. "Like you said, three more months and I can be out of here and on the other side of the country."

Her lips were kissing across my chest, teasing me, and I wanted to pick her up and carry her back to her bed. But she'd said "other side of the country" and I was confused.

"What do you mean? Em said you're going to UW." She kept kissing me while her hand began inching down. "Seriously, Rose," I said as I stepped out of her reach. If she distracted me then I'd probably forget, and I needed to know if I was never going to see her again after school.

Begrudgingly, she straightened up and looked me in the eye. "_He's_ going to UW. I want to go to Dartmouth. Simple as that."

"Does he even know? Are you leaving him?"

She backed away from me and avoided my hand when I tried to pull her back. When she reached her bed she sat down heavily. "I want to leave Forks. I want to leave Washington. He knows that by staying here, he's going to lose me, but he's okay with that."

That didn't sound right at all. Emmett was completely smitten with Rosalie and had been the entire time I'd known them. And I knew that Rosalie loved him. Maybe _this_ was the real reason she was being pissy about me and Bella.

I sat down next to her and ran my hand through her hair and down her neck the way she liked. "Well, he's a fucking fool then, to ever let you go."

We sat like that for a few minutes while I waited for Rose to make a move. Eventually, she leaned back into me and didn't resist when I pulled her into my arms. She let me kiss her for a while before she lay back, my cue that we could do more. My hands moved up her legs and I grabbed onto her panties. It wasn't going to be sex again, though. I wanted Rose to feel better—and to have an orgasm. So I worked the lace over her hips and down her legs, then slowly ran my hand back and forth over her, enjoying the smoothness before meeting her eyes.

Her stare was cold, as it often was when she wasn't in control. The sooner she eased up, the better. And with that thought, I pressed my mouth to her and began to kiss away her concerns.

Within a few minutes, I could hear her sighs and could feel her legs relax around me. From experience, I knew it would only be another couple of minutes until I'd feel her knees digging into my skull. I wanted it sooner, so I brought my hand up and used my fingers to bring her there faster. She started panting, and then I felt her knees squeezing me so hard, I worried about being able to finish. When she started to writhe, I slowed down and pressed my tongue against her, hard. Her grip increased for just a moment and then the release was palpable. Instead of fighting me, her whole body sagged, and you could practically feel her icy exterior melt away.

I pulled away and kissed her thighs, and even though I wanted to kiss her, I knew she didn't go for that stuff. So I went to the bathroom and washed up before coming back and slipping in beside her on the bed.

"I'm taking that cuddle now," I mumbled into her hair.

She sighed again, a sweet contented sound, and nestled into my side, wrapping her arm around my chest. If I had my way, we'd be doing this every time.

"And Rose," I mumbled while I kissed her temple.

"Uh-huh."

"I'd go to Dartmouth for you."

She smiled, and with her eyes closed, she looked happy.

Maybe it was time I stepped up. If Emmett wasn't treating her the way she deserved then there was nothing stopping me. Just as I was about to ask, I looked down and noticed the smile had gone.

Her eyes remained closed as she mumbled into my chest. "Then I'd have to go to Cambridge."

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

A/N: One pre-reader per chapter, yes? Thanks to mopstyle, and not just for pre-reading. She also writes hot Vampsper and lulzy Bella-hate crackfic (when ya finishing?).


	3. Not the Same

A/N: Thanks to Furious Kitten and Brianna for the beta work, and to everyone who reviewed/alerted :)

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

Bella lived on the south side of town, right next to the woods. As I drove there, I thought of all the wonderful ways I could screw up meeting her father. Technically it wasn't the first time we'd met. He'd booked me for speeding once, and I'd been "warned" about staying out late with Jasper before. I was pretty sure he didn't hate me, but I hadn't exactly made a good impression on him either.

My plan was to be respectful and try to instill in him a sense that I had every intention of looking after his daughter. It couldn't be too difficult because that _was_ my intention. Bella was sweet and innocent, and I wasn't fool enough to think that pushing her would change that. Yes, I wanted to be more than friends, but I also expected it to take time. Besides, I had Rosalie for _that_ kind of thing.

As I pulled up to Chief Swan's house, relief flooded me when I saw there wasn't a cruiser in the driveway. There was an old Chevy, which meant I probably wasn't completely out of the deep end, but anyone was better than the chief.

After knocking, I waited quietly, trying to appear composed. A few moments later, the door swung inward. Bella was standing there, looking nervous and tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Hi," she said.

"Hi." I smiled warmly and waited for the obligatory introduction to whoever was driving that truck.

"So . . . should we go, or did you want to come in for a bit? Alice was kind of expecting us soon so I thought we'd just . . ." She vaguely indicated my car, as if too uncertain to point.

"Sure, we can go now. I just thought—I mean . . . Do I have to meet anyone?"

"Oh, my dad's at work. I figured you'd be relieved." She laughed nervously. "I know I was."

"Yeah, I saw the cruiser wasn't here." I turned to walk back to my car, Bella trailing behind. "I thought maybe you had a visitor or something," I said, pointing to the truck.

She laughed, this time without a trace of doubt. Carefree. "Umm . . . that's my truck."

That made me stop. "That's your car?" I asked, not even trying to hide my surprise.

"Yeah." She indicated it with her hand. "Thing, meet Edward. Edward, Thing."

Of all the cars I'd imagined Bella Swan driving, this truck was not it. She seemed too small to handle a beast like that. How the hell did she even get it to turn?

"My dad bought it off an old friend when he heard I was moving back." She continued toward my car and I followed. "It's a monster to drive, but I like it. I think it has character."

She finished just as we reached the stock standard Volvo I drove. "You have something against my car, Bella?"

Her face fell and she began apologizing. "Sorry, that's not what I meant at all. Your car is great—"

"Relax." I laughed a little. "It was just a joke."

"Right." She lost some of the tension in her stance, but as I reached around her to open the door, it all came back again. I stepped away quickly, allowing her to move, and walked around to the driver's side.

Once we were both in, I started the car and pulled out into the street.

"It sure handles better than my car."

I was relieved she hadn't clammed up on me. "I bought this car specifically for the handling. Rose and I spent weeks deciding which one I should get."

"Rosalie Hale?"

For a split second, I worried that I'd made a mistake and said more than I should've. But then I realized Bella had no reason to suspect Rose and I were anything other than friends. "Yeah, she knows a lot about cars. She's like our motor guru."

"Oh." Bella stared at her lap as she twisted her hands. "I never would have thought she'd be into that kind of thing. She's so beautiful . . ." she trailed off.

"Almost everyone makes that mistake, don't worry. She's smart though—really smart."

"Does she want to be a mechanic?"

I pictured Rose in blue coveralls and grease smudges, wearing a scowl. The thought made me chuckle. "No way. She loves tinkering with cars, but that's just a hobby. She wants to be an engineer. Can you imagine, Rose designing bridges and making men build them. She's perfect for it."

Bella smiled politely. "I guess. I don't really know her." She shifted a little in her seat as if she were uncomfortable.

"Well, you'll get to know her and the others. Actually, I've been meaning to ask you . . . do you want to sit with us at lunch next week?"

Her eyes widened and she stammered, "I . . . I don't know."

Not wanting to terrify her, I added, "You don't have to. I just thought it'd be nice to spend some time together . . . outside of class."

That earned me another blush. "Why do you sit with them? I mean, why don't you sit with Mike and the other guys in our grade?"

I had to concentrate on a tight bend in the road before I answered her. "Alice is my sister, and she is dating Jasper—the senior with the blond hair?" Bella nodded her understanding. "Well, Jasper and I are friends now, so I sit with him and Alice."

"What about the others?"

"Rosalie and Emmett? Emmett and Jasper have always been friends, and Rose... she's Emmett's girlfriend." I smiled out of habit.

"But they're all seniors, right? Except Alice?"

"Yeah."

We were silent for a few miles as I navigated the dark bends and Bella stared out the window. Eventually, she piped up again.

"I guess that must be hard for Alice, knowing Jasper will be leaving next year."

I glanced over at her, a little surprised by the direction of her thoughts. "Jasper won't be leaving without Alice."

"Really?"

The way her face lit up made me want to roll my eyes. Girls were endlessly impressed by that sort of thing. Guys like Jasper made the rest of us look bad. "Really. He's going to hang around for a year and help out at his dad's shop. They'll go to college together after she graduates."

She smiled and went quiet again, no doubt casting Jasper in a more romantic light. She watched the dark through the window a bit more before speaking again. "Are you and Alice twins?"

"Don't really look alike, do we?" She nodded in confirmation. "Mom couldn't have kids, so they adopted. First me, and then Alice."

"Ah." She blushed a little, probably at having touched on such a personal topic. "You seem to get along really well."

"We have our moments."

Again there was a lull and I searched my mind for something to talk about, but she beat me to it. "Would your friends mind? I mean, me coming to sit at your table?"

I could have snorted. Alice would love it and no doubt make Bella entirely uncomfortable with her enthusiasm. Emmett wouldn't care, Jasper probably wouldn't be happy, and Rose . . . well, she would just have to get used to the idea. "It'll be fine," I assured her. She didn't look like she believed me.

A few minutes later we reached First Beach and I pulled in next to Mike's Suburban.

"Well, we're here." I hopped out quickly, wanting to get the door for her, but she was already climbing out before I reached her. So instead I took her hand, which instantly seized up in mine. I checked her expression and she was tense, really tense. So as I led her toward the beach, I rubbed my thumb up and down hers, trying to get her to relax.

A small fire was flaring on the beach and a few people were perched on larger rocks or logs, huddled together in the cool night air. Jasper and Alice were sitting on a log and Rosalie and Emmett stood in front of them, closer to the warmth. There was a small group of local Rez kids next to them, but that was it. With satisfaction, I noticed Mike wasn't close by, quickly spying him and his friends a bit further up the beach.

Bella was looking longingly in their direction, and I caught sight of Jessica's bright pink coat just as her nasal laughter filled the air. I remembered how Bella really didn't know many people outside of that group. "Come on, I'll introduce you to the others."

She gave me a relieved smile as I led her toward the fire.

Alice turned around and saw us approaching. She was visibly excited as she called out, "Hi, Bella!"

Bella waved, then once we reached them, she replied, "Hey."

Jasper was reserved, not nearly as forthcoming. "This is Alice's boyfriend, Jasper," I said, gesturing to him. He waved but kept one arm firmly wrapped around Alice's shoulders, probably keeping her warm or something. "And this is Emmett and Rosalie." Emmett looked amused. He gave Bella a giant grin and shook her hand roughly. Rose barely cracked a smile.

"Everyone, this is Bella."

If Bella noticed Rose's coldness, she didn't show it. "Nice to meet you all." She shoved her hands deep into her pockets and again glanced in Jessica's direction. I was seriously considering taking her over there when someone else shouted out.

"Bella?"

One of the Rez boys was smiling in our direction and then he started walking toward us. Bella squinted her eyes before recognition spread across her features.

"Jacob! Hey! I didn't realize you'd be here." She moved toward him, stopping a few feet away.

"Well, I do live here, you know," he said once he'd reached her. He looked younger than us by at least a few years and was full of the youthful cockiness that had me disliking him immediately.

Bella smiled and laughed a little at his poor joke. "How are you?"

And just like that, some kid brought Bella out of her shell. There wasn't a tense muscle in sight. Her eyes were bright and her smile genuine—happy. Not wanting to be a third wheel on their catch-up, I turned my attention back to our group.

Alice was watching Bella. "Don't let her out of your sight with that one," she said.

"What, him? He's just a kid."

"Yeah, well that kid has got plans. Look at him."

I turned slightly to try and sneak another look. He wasn't tall, but he was filling out, so I'd place him at around fifteen at the most. Personally, I thought that made him zero risk, but then I noticed Alice was right. He was staring at Bella with intimacy, his eyes not always staying on her face. And judging by the way Bella was responding to him, he probably had a better chance than me.

Straight away, I stepped back over to them and pushed in on the conversation.

"Hey, I'm Edward." I held my hand out as an excuse for interrupting.

"Jacob Black." He shook with way too much force, as if he believed a move like that could ever be intimidating.

"So, you guys know each other?" I asked.

Bella smiled playfully while glancing at Jacob sideways. "We used to hang out when we were kids. Our dads are friends."

Jacob's grin fell when Bella mentioned "kids," and it just proved Alice was right—he really was interested in her that way, even though she was way out of his league. Knowing how ballsy kids could be, I decided to steer Bella away before I had to take issue with him and his wandering eyes.

"Nice to meet you, Jacob. Bella, I was wondering if you wanted to go for a walk?"

She looked at Jacob apologetically."Sure. Umm . . . I guess I'll see you later, Jake."

His confidence dissipated and he was left looking even younger than before. "Yeah, okay, Bells. Bye." He turned and headed back to his group, glancing back a couple of times before rejoining them.

I began slowly walking in the opposite direction and Bella followed. Trying to ease the situation, I asked her a few questions about Jake and what he was like. She was still a little reserved, but not nearly as much as she had been earlier. At least the kid had warmed her up a bit.

We reached a more secluded spot and cleared a place to sit. Now that we'd left the bonfire, the only light came from the moon and illuminated the clouds surrounding it. Bella looked beautifully pale as she gazed up to the sky.

I had an urge to kiss her.

So I did. I leaned in and didn't even consider the consequences as I touched her lips with mine. Startled, she flinched away.

"Sorry," she apologized.

It hadn't occurred to me she wouldn't kiss me back. "You don't need to be sorry. I should have asked." I moved away from her, trying to be clear I wasn't about to jump her bones.

"It's just . . ." She looked back up at the sky, her features scrunched up as though she was frustrated with herself. "I haven't really kissed anyone before," she blurted and bit her lip like she wished she could take it back.

"You've never kissed anyone before?"

"Not unless you count my parents. Oh God, that sounds so weird." She put her head in her hands and shook it slightly.

"Hey . . ." I slid toward her again and gently pried her hands from her hair. "Sorry, I just . . . I can't believe no one has kissed you yet. You're beautiful." Her cheeks were flushed with embarrassment, but she finally met my eyes. I continued with the charm. "If I'm really honest, I kind of like that I'm the first." I leaned in close again, enjoying how her eyes went a little cross-eyed as she stared at my lips. "Bella, may I kiss you?" I was so close, I could feel her breath.

She nodded, and this time, she didn't flinch when I kissed her. And after a minute or so, she even opened her mouth.

I'd be lying if I said it was perfect—because it was far from it. She was stiff and she had no idea what to do with her tongue. But I knew she'd get better at it.

After we made out under the stars, she was like a different girl—all blushes and coy smiles. There was no way I could have hidden what we'd been doing from my friends, so I snuck her back to my car and drove her straight home. I would deal with the consequences, just . . . later.

When we reached her house, the first thing I saw was the cruiser. Guilt sank in my stomach like a lead weight as I thought about my earlier intentions.

"You don't have to come to the door," Bella said. She was still blushing and I was pretty sure she was wondering if I'd kiss her again.

I had no desire to talk to the chief right now, so I reached across the console, tilted Bella's face toward me, and chastely kissed her smiling lips goodnight.

"I'll see you on Monday."

She nodded and got out of the car, then briskly headed toward her house. I should have walked her to the door. I should have introduced myself to her father. But I just didn't feel up to it tonight.

That stuff could wait until later, too.

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

A/N: Thanks to Cosmo9 for pre-reading this for me, and for buying me in the FGB auction. I heart you and your super-generous soul.


	4. Song for the Dumped

A/N: Thanks to Brianna and Furious Kitten for the beta work, and to everyone who reviewed/alerted :) To set your minds at ease... this is a Roseward story. But it's early days, folks.

And sorry about the delay in updating. I've been writing my FGB auction piece. Our fandom rocks.

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

Monday morning began normally. Jasper and I were at school early, hanging out and minding Emmett's parking spot until he arrived. Alice was already chatting to Tanya and Kate, probably in the bathroom or somewhere equally girly. Bella hadn't arrived yet, and I was kind of thankful for that.

Emmett's Jeep pulled up and he killed the engine before climbing out and landing with a heavy thud. He grinned far too widely for so early in the morning, but he did always look comically happy next to Rosalie's patented scowl. She'd gotten out of the passenger side and grimaced at the overcast sky, completely lacking in cheer.

Jasper had spent the better part of ten minutes trying to roll a baseball across his shoulders and at Emmett's arrival, he fucked up another turn.

"Hey, big man," he said to Emmett, pitching the ball hard at him in retaliation for the interruption. "Rose." He nodded in her direction.

Emmett caught the ball with ease. "Nice try." He threw it in the air, catching it a couple of times before pegging it straight at Jasper, hitting him in the ribs.

"Fuck!"

Emmett laughed but stopped when he saw Rose rolling her eyes at him. I swear I could even see him try to stand a little straighter. _Like he ever has to worry about impressing her._

"You look like shit this morning, Edward," Rose commented. If it had come from Emmett, it would have been okay, just another jab. But it was Rose's lethal tongue, so I knew she was being intentionally nasty. She wasn't even making eye contact, just staring out into the parking lot dismissively.

Emmett was grinning at my expense, and I did my best to look annoyed at his impetuous girlfriend. I was about to tell him to stop when he started talking. "You do look pretty tired, Eddie. I wonder what could possibly be keeping you up all night? I wonder if it has anything to do with a Miss Swan? We missed you both on Friday night. Where did you get away to?"

Emmett probably already knew the story. Alice had hit me up for details as soon as she came home on Friday night, and once you told anything to Alice, you may as well have it posted as your Facebook status.

"Not much. Bella and I went for a walk. After a while, it was too cold so I drove her home. End of story." I began searching in my bag for something I didn't need. Anything to avoid meeting Rosalie's eyes.

"You know if you'd come back to the fire, she wouldn't have been so cold," Emmett observed. Jasper snorted from beside me.

I continued to sift through my things as I explained, "I didn't really want to take her back within firing range of that Rez kid. Besides, she was shy, it was better for me to take her home."

"Did you kiss her goodnight?" Emmett really wasn't letting this go.

"Why the hell would I tell you that?" Giving up the pretense of looking for something, I zipped my bag shut roughly.

"I would have thought a better question is why wouldn't you tell us?" Jasper weighed in. His voice was too serious, so I checked his expression. He was still grimacing and clutching his ribs, but he was stern. When I looked at Emmett, I noticed Rosalie wasn't with him anymore. Over his shoulder, I spotted her retreating figure, no doubt heading off to talk to Alice.

Emmett's nodding drew my eyes back to him. He was still waiting for me to cave. Now that Rosalie was gone, I didn't really have an issue with telling him.

"Fine, I kissed her. Once at the beach, and then later when I dropped her off."

Emmett shouted, "Ha!" while Jasper groaned.

"Jesus, Edward, I thought you agreed not to hit on her," Jasper complained.

"Hey, hold up there. What have you got against Eddie finally getting some tail?"

Jasper straightened up a little. "Her dad is the Chief of Police. If he hooks up with her then don't you think he'll pay a little more attention to all of us?"

Emmett tried to look disapproving. "Come on, it's not like he'll start showing up at your house just because his daughter's dating Edward. And a bro's gotta have sex, Jasper."

I had to stop that right there. "We're not having sex. And if a rumor like that starts getting around, I'm pretty sure all of this will become a non-issue."

"I'm not talking about now, but you're laying the groundwork, right?" Emmett placed his hand on his heart. "Please tell me you're not waiting for marriage."

His serious tone made me laugh, and even Jasper gave in and cracked a smile. "No, I'm not," I answered solemnly.

Emmett wiped his brow, muttering "phew" before picking up his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. "Well, now that we've established that, I guess we'd better get to class."

Classes were a nice return to normalcy. The few times I passed Bella during the day, she'd smile sweetly and blush. Her friends seemed clueless that there was anything going on, and it made me wonder if Bella hadn't told them.

When it was finally lunch time, I waited by the cafeteria doors for her. I wasn't sure she'd remember that I wanted to sit together, and even if she did, I didn't think she'd approach me herself. When I waved to her, she looked surprised, and Jessica looked curious.

"Did you forget?" I asked, feigning insult.

She turned to Jessica and apologized. "Umm . . . I told Edward I'd sit with him today."

"Oh." Jessica was barely containing her prying, but somehow she succeeded. "I guess I'll see you later, then."

"Okay," Bella said.

I grabbed her hand and led her away from Jessica's eyes, whispering in her ear, "She's going to want to know everything next time she sees you."

Bella laughed timidly. "Yeah, I figured."

After grabbing some food, we headed back to my usual spot. I pulled a chair from another table for Bella to sit on and Alice moved over straight away so there'd be room. No one else budged an inch.

"Hey," I greeted them as I sat down.

Alice piped up immediately with endless questions; "Hi, Bella," "How was your weekend?" and "Can I have your number?" all spewed forth in quick succession.

I mouthed "too strong" at my pushy sister, but she didn't take my advice. Bella appeared to be handling it okay, reciting her number and answering all of Alice's inquisitive questions, so I didn't interrupt.

While they were talking, Jasper leaned forward so we could have our own conversation. "So, Edward, on Thursday, you're coming with me to see that new zombie movie, right?"

My answer was automatic. "No can do."

"Come on," he whined. "Em's got practice, and it's the only night I can do something without Alice."

"I've got piano practice." I took a huge mouthful so he couldn't push me for more information.

I was surprised when he didn't even try. Instead, he looked at Rosalie and asked her. "What about you, Rose? You up for some blood and gore?"

Her lips curved up but her eyes didn't smile. "Sure thing."

I wanted to glare at her, but that would have been a dead giveaway, so instead I stared at my lunch. Thursday afternoons were _ours_—the only time we could be together. It took all my self control to not look as infuriated as I felt.

Jasper sounded a little taken aback. "Excellent. I guess I'll pick you up?"

"I think I'd prefer to drive. I'll get you." She sounded so freaking happy with herself.

"Okay."

I counted down the moments until I could look at her without it seeming suspicious. A minute later, I glanced up. It was like she was waiting for it; her eyes sensed the slight movement of mine and met them, giving me the same look she had last week.

I didn't need to be a fucking genius to figure out she was pissed off. This was about Bella and me . . . and the fact that I'd kissed her.

A split second later, Rose looked away and went back to concentrating on what Emmett was talking about. If I could have, I would have thrown everything down on the table and stormed off noisily. But I couldn't. So I sat still and breathed through my nose, only belatedly remembering Bella sitting by my side. For the rest of lunch, I tried to talk to her and sound carefree, but I'm pretty sure even she knew something was off.

By the time lunch finished, I couldn't wait to get away from Rosalie's presence. I hated how she could have such an impact on my mood—without even really trying. Only she could make me this angry, and I felt weak for giving into it. When she left the table, her oppressive force dissipated, and I felt mildly better. I looked back at Bella and realized it was a relief to have her next to me. She didn't make my skin crawl with anticipation—or shut me out with her every word.

We stood together to leave but then I saw Jessica making her way toward us.

Despite my mood, I chuckled as I remembered what Bella was in for. "Did you want to get it over with now? I can walk to Bio by myself." I raised my eyebrows questioningly.

Bella glanced at Jessica approaching and then back to me. "I don't really know what to say." Her cheeks flamed again. "I mean . . . what should I tell her?"

I could have laughed at her unsubtle attempt to find out if we were dating. It was such an innocent question, one that paled in comparison to the twisted relationship I had with Rosalie. There was no harsh reality lurking behind what Bella and I had together, and it felt right. Better than what I'd been doing.

I took a deep breath and decided to just jump right in. "I guess you could tell her that we're seeing each other."

Her eyes lit up but she didn't smile too widely. "Really?"

"If that's what you want." My voice sounded about as certain as I did.

Jessica arrived before Bella could answer, but she nodded quickly at me before I turned and walked away.

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

I waited until after ten that night to call Rose. Her mom may have been pretty liberal, but even she wouldn't let her daughter's boyfriend stay the night, so I was pretty certain Emmett wouldn't be around.

I knew it was probably the end of us, but I wanted her to at least say it. We'd been in this . . . relationship for almost a year, and while I knew it was screwed up, I'd also thought we'd meant something to each other. At least in a small way.

As I lay in bed, I listened to the phone ringing and wondered if she'd even answer. She did.

"I was almost asleep."

"Sorry. I wanted to make sure Emmett wasn't there." I pulled at my hair a bit in frustration. All of a sudden I was anxious about talking to Rose; well, more about what she was going to say. But I knew there was no point screwing around. I needed to get to the point. "Were you trying to tell me something today?"

Her bed squeaked as she moved. "That depends," she said in her bitch tone. "Were you trying to tell me something by making out with Bella Swan? The girl you're just _friends_ with?"

"All we did was kiss, and if you're annoyed by that . . . you're being a hypocrite, Rose." I closed my eyes, waiting for her response.

After a breath, she answered me. "I never signed on to be the other girl."

It wasn't what I expected her to say. "Well, I never wanted to be the other guy," I countered, somewhat immaturely.

"Yes, you did. You knew I was with Emmett." Her voice was eerily calm.

She was right—there was no point in arguing facts. I had agreed, however indirectly. "Are you saying that if I'm with her, I can't be with you?"

"Yes."

So it was an ultimatum. Either I continued to covet a girl who was not mine, or I could have one of my very own—someone I could sit with and talk to without ever having to second guess my behavior.

"Well, that's easy then," I said, not bothering to try and sound nice about it. "I choose her."

She didn't even say anything, just hung up on me. The silence echoed in my ear and it amplified the emptiness I suddenly felt.

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

A/N: Thanks to revrag for pre-reading this for me, and for being my girl crush. You always bring a smile to my face and I love you for that.


	5. Regrets

A/N: Thanks to Furious Kitten and Brianna for the beta work, to the lovely ladies who pre-read for me, and to everyone who reviewed/alerted :)

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

Thursday morning it was raining heavily. Jasper and I were huddled in the front seats of the Volvo, waiting for Emmett to show up. Rose's BMW pulled in a few spots away, and she jumped out and slammed the door before stomping off to find Alice.

"She's in a good mood this morning," Jasper observed sarcastically.

We watched as Emmett hauled himself out of the relatively tiny passenger side and walked through the rain toward us. Despite the water running down his face, he still smiled, albeit not with his usual cheer. He opened the back door and sat down, dripping over everything.

"She's got the worst case of fucking PMS _ever_. Did you see how far away she parked? She did that shit on purpose!"

I felt a small victory at having the luck to break up with Rose just before her period, but it was short lived. Her ass was looking fine today, and I was pretty sure she was wearing those jeans with full knowledge of how much I liked them, just to taunt me. Bitch.

Jasper was commiserating with Emmett. "Alice gets intensely OCD about everything. Even just watching TV has to be done in a certain way. I just stay the fuck away from her now."

That piqued my interest. "Wait, is that why she went all fucking psycho at me that time I tried to get her to watch Criminal Minds?" Jasper nodded. I thought about the other times Alice just seemed to lose her shit over nothing. "What about that time a few weeks ago when she wanted a ride to Port Angeles and I couldn't take her?"

"Yep."

"Wow." All this time, I'd thought Alice had some crazy in her genes. It was nice to know she wasn't really nuts. "Can you give me a heads up next time? I could do without that."

He smiled conspiratorially and said, "Sure thing."

Emmett continued to whine. "Rosie has never been this bad. I mean, I've seen her pissy, but this is getting annoying." He was quiet and thoughtful for a moment and then straightened up. "How long does Alice's last?" he asked Jasper.

Jasper's brow furrowed as he considered his answer. "Two days?" he answered uncertainly.

Emmett slumped back against his seat again. "I'm up to four now. I'm dying here!"

I cleared my throat to remind them I was in the car, because really, talking about their girlfriends' cycles was not pleasant.

"Sorry, Eddie," Emmett said quickly, then he laughed before adding, "Although, give it a few months with Bella and this'll be right up your alley."

I grimaced, realizing this was going to be one of those girlfriend problems. Emmett laughed, his booming voice filling the small space.

"Whatever," I responded, sounding exactly like the spoiled, petulant teenager I was and just adding fuel to Emmett's amusement.

Thankfully, Jasper cut in. "It's time to go in."

With that, we all pulled up our hoods and prepared to get soaked on our way to class. What a shitty start to the day.

The morning went by like any other. I moved from class to class, unchallenged and bored. Rosalie and I passed each other between second and third period, and I watched her closely, waiting for some kind of reaction. She knew I was there. I could tell by the way she drew her shoulders back and lifted her chin slightly, but she didn't so much as glance in my direction. I didn't really expect she would, but it still pissed me off.

I wondered how she could be so unaffected by this. For almost a year she'd shared her body with me, and now . . . nothing. No more talking, no more contact. No more intimacy. She had to be heartless to be that cold. Then I remembered Emmett's words in the car and thought maybe it was something that would pass. Maybe we'd be able to be friends again eventually.

At lunch, I made my way to the small table Bella and I had been sitting at ever since Rosalie and I "broke up." I didn't want to subject Bella to Rosalie's nasty side, so it seemed safer to just keep our distance. No one else questioned what I was doing, almost as though they approved.

Bella wandered over carrying a tray with her lunch. "Hey," she said as she sat down.

"Hi." I smiled at her. It was the first chance I'd had to speak to her all day. Normally, she came and hung out with me and the guys before class, but she didn't today. "Where were you this morning?"

"Um . . . you were all in your car, so I figured you were having guy talk or something." She looked sheepish and turned her head as she sipped her pop.

"We were just getting out of the rain. You could have come and sat with us."

She nodded and then picked up her apple and bit into it. It was always a bit of a shock to me that she didn't argue or snark back. Bella appeared to be endlessly agreeable, selfless even. It was wonderful.

I looked back at the table that housed my friends and felt smug for not having to put up with Rosalie's shit anymore; she was all Emmett's problem now. Just as I thought it, he caught my eye and made a rude gesture, as if he actually thought Bella and I were already doing that stuff. I laughed and turned my attention back to my lunch.

It did make me wonder, though. Bella and I hadn't even kissed since Friday night. We'd held hands as we walked to Biology after lunch, but that was it. Boyfriends kissed their girls more regularly than that, right? I didn't want to push her, but I figured it was at least worth trying to sound her out.

"So, what are you doing this afternoon?" I asked.

She smiled shyly. "Laundry. You?"

"Would you like to come over to my place? Or maybe I could go to yours?"

She looked a little surprised but quickly recovered. "Um, sure. Charlie's at work until five most days. We can go to my house." She blushed and took another bite of her apple.

"Sounds great. I'll come over after I drop Jasper and Alice off?"

"Okay."

There she went again with being all agreeable. I smiled fondly, thinking how much easier life would be with Bella. I reached across the table and placed my hand on hers and watched as the blush spread to her ears. She tried to hide her little grin and I chuckled. To anyone watching, we were a sickeningly perfect couple.

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

"Take it easy with Bella, okay?" Alice was lecturing me all through the drive home, leaning forward from the back seat and being generally annoying. "You know she's a virgin, right?"

Jasper exhaled loudly. "Alice," he cautioned.

"Sorry, baby, but he needs to know these things."

I rolled my eyes. "I am aware. Seriously, Alice, I'm just going to spend some time with her. You don't need to freak out like this."

She nodded, her face thoughtful. "All right, I trust you. But remember she _will_ talk to me, so be a gentleman. At least until she's ready for more." She grinned and winked, and Jasper groaned.

Thankfully, we were home and I was able to drop her pushy ass off. Alice climbed out, yelling "good luck" at me.

Jasper followed but stuck his head back in once Alice was gone. "Er . . . next week." I had no idea what he was talking about and stared at him blankly, waiting for him to make sense. He suddenly made a vicious face and hissed at me, then pointed at Alice.

His impression was rather accurate. "Right. Thanks," I muttered. We now had code for "Alice is due next week." Gross. It did help me be more understanding of my sister's little "talk" though.

I pulled out and drove to the other side of town where Bella lived. Her truck was in the driveway but the cruiser was nowhere in sight. I parked and walked up to the door, then knocked and waited mere seconds before it opened.

"Hi," Bella said, he face paler than normal and her hands hanging by her sides as though she didn't know what to do with them.

I gave her my crooked grin, trying to put her at ease. She stared at my mouth as though dazzled and didn't move until I started to let myself in.

"Sorry, um . . . come in."

I stepped inside and waited for her to close the door. The TV was on so I took a seat on the couch and patted the space next to me.

She stayed standing. "Do you want a drink?" she asked hurriedly.

"I'm okay," I answered. She looked uncertain for a bit more so I reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her toward me.

She let me lead her to the seat next to me and didn't pull away when I kissed her. Again, I was a little put off by her wooden lips, but they softened soon enough. When I ran my hand up and down her back, her shoulders eased as well.

We kissed for a bit longer and got through all the awkward stuff: not enough tongue, too much tongue, knocking teeth. Once she found her rhythm, I finally started to enjoy myself and began thinking about the things we could do. I grew hard as I pictured Bella on her knees, sucking my dick. Then it was Rosalie I was seeing and she was being filthy, licking my cum off her finger. Absently, my hand inched lower and I grasped Bella's hip, wanting to drag her onto my lap and grind against her.

But when I touched her, my mind reeled. Because all I felt was her pointy bone, and that was not what my mind had been thinking of. I opened my eyes, suddenly feeling hollow and out of place.

Bella's lids were still closed, and I was relieved she hadn't seen my reaction. I mentally berated myself. She was a seventeen-year-old girl who was mature, even if she didn't have curves like Rosalie. Bella wasn't a child; she was just lacking experience. Experience I was supposed to be in the process of giving her. I went back to concentrating on kissing, attempting to block Rosalie from my thoughts.

We made out for almost an hour, and even though I tried not to think about Rose, my mind kept wandering back there. Every time I thought of doing things with Bella, I'd automatically make the comparison and without fail, Rosalie won out.

She was round where Bella was angled. She was supple where Bella was stiff. She was sensual and intimate and demanding, knowing exactly what she wanted and when. Yes, she was a pain, but she was also pleasure.

I missed her body. It had only been a week and I ached for her.

Bella and I finally pulled apart. She was completely flushed and her hair was a mess. She touched her lips with her hand—such an innocent gesture—and smiled shyly.

"My dad will be home soon," she said.

"I better get going then." Again, I felt a little ashamed that I wasn't sticking around to meet him, but I eased my mind by telling myself I'd do it next time. I stood up, a little stiff from our prolonged position, and kissed Bella one last time.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

She grinned and nodded and walked me to the door. I smiled at her before getting into my car, all composed and smooth. But as soon as I was out of her sight, I reached into my jeans and shifted my dick to a more comfortable position. That situation would have to be dealt with as soon as I got home. I drove quickly, impatient to get in my room with a locked door and a healthy porn collection.

But when I arrived home and went to rush straight upstairs, I was interrupted by my mom. "Hi. You're home early."

"Ah, yeah . . ." I usually stayed out late on Thursday under the pretence of practicing piano. Honestly, I don't know how she ever bought it. Four hours of banging away at those keys every week? But she never questioned me, so I never came up with any other excuse to cover the time I spent with Rosalie. "I thought I'd give myself a bit of a break today," I lied.

Mom smiled. "Well, I guess you need to take some time off every now and then." She shot me a knowing look, like she knew I was full of shit. It was disconcerting.

"I've got . . . homework," I muttered, turning to escape. My earlier need to jack off had been completely banished by my mother's unexpected presence.

"Alice mentioned you have a girlfriend now," Mom stated, stopping me in my tracks.

I turned back to face her and ran my hand through my hair. "Yeah, I do."

She didn't look up from the vegetables she was slicing—didn't show any change in expression. "You should invite her around for dinner. I'd like to meet her."

Her tone told me it wasn't really a suggestion. "Okay," I agreed. I turned and trudged upstairs to my room, missing my earlier enthusiasm. I was going to have to bring Bella home and have an awkward dinner with my parents. Then I was probably going to have to do something similar with her dad. This would be on top of the hour or so I'd have to spend with her each weekday afternoon because that's what couples did. And then there was that whole PMS thing.

This all seemed like a whole lot of work considering we weren't even having sex yet.

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

A/N: I rambled about Roseward on the For the Love of Non-Canon blog. There's a link on my profile.

Have you read Goodbye Yellow Brick Road by LightHeartLoreli yet?


	6. Bitch Went Nuts

A/N: Thanks to Brianna and Furious Kitten for the beta work, to the lovely ladies who pre-read for me, and to everyone who reviewed/alerted :)

There may be a few more errors in this one, but I was down one eye for the edit. That's my excuse ;)

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

Two weeks.

It had been two weeks since I'd last had sex.

Only two weeks, but it felt like _forever._ I pulled into the school parking lot and hardly noticed Alice and Jasper get out of the car. I stared blankly out the window, wondering how other guys did this. How did they go without sex? It felt like almost every moment was filled with thinking about it, remembering it, _missing_ it.

After a while, the passenger door opened again and Jasper's voice filled my ear.

"You getting out today?"

I turned my head and looked at him. His eyebrows went up and he shrugged at me. 'Well?' he seemed to say without words.

I opened my door and climbed out, stretching a little and feeling groggy. I'd been sleeping badly lately. Bella was coming over this weekend to have dinner with my folks and it was stressing me out. Plus, spending time together after school meant I had to stay up later to get my homework done. It felt like I was permanently tired now, exhausted even, but I wasn't exactly exerting myself.

"You going over to Bella's this afternoon?" Jasper asked as he stared out over the parking lot.

"Yeah," I answered absently, pulling my bag out of the trunk.

"What happened to piano practice?"

Realizing I'd slipped up, I slowed my movements, trying to think of an excuse. As I closed the trunk, I met his eyes, not showing any hint of how rattled I was feeling. "I'm gonna do that after Bella's." I shrugged, hoping he'd let it go.

Emmett's Jeep pulled up beside us and Rose jumped straight out, slamming the door and striding off. It was her new morning ritual and we were all used to it now. What we weren't expecting, though, was for Emmett to barrel out and yell after her.

"Whatever, Rose!" He closed his door loudly and Jasper and I openly stared. I'd never seen Emmett mad before, and it was an intimidating sight. His face was all strained and he looked like he was about to burst, and the difference between that and his usual smiling face was unsettling.

"What happened?" I asked before realizing I probably didn't want to know.

He shook his head. "I'm so sick of her fucking bitching. Every morning she's up my ass about parking here. And when I tell her I'm not going to stop parking next to my friends, she gets all pissy. Every fucking day starts out like this lately and they don't get any better!"

I didn't know what to say. They'd always been unshakable as a couple, but now even _their_ foundations were looking worn. "Never-ending PMS?" I half-joked in an effort to lighten his mood.

Thankfully, he chuckled, although it sounded bitter. "Yeah, must fucking be."

Jasper glanced at Emmett, a look of understanding on his face. "She'll get over it. You just gotta ride it out."

Emmett snorted. "There is no way that Alice has ever been this big of a pain in the ass." He ran his hand through his hair. "I don't know . . . Rose has changed or something." I started looking around the parking lot for Bella. This was not a conversation I should be around.

Jasper slapped Emmett on the shoulder. "She's probably just stressed about college and shit." I remembered how Emmett wasn't planning to go to college with Rosalie. Maybe this was just her way of getting him to change his mind.

Emmett shrugged and looked down. "Yeah, probably." He picked up his bag and feigned enthusiasm. "Shall we?"

I finally heard the sound I'd been waiting for—Bella's thunderous truck. "I'll catch you guys later," I said, grateful I was able to get away from their problems. Swinging my bag over my shoulder, I walked in the other direction.

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

Girls' asses were hypnotic, I was sure of it. They swayed to and fro, again and again. Seductively. Invitingly. And they were _everywhere_. The ass in front of me right now belonged to Angela, and I really shouldn't have been looking. She was a sweet girl who didn't ask for this kind of attention, but . . . She had a perfect ass! I had no idea how I'd never noticed before. It was right there in front of me, and all I wanted to do was run my hands over it while I squeezed and gripped and sank my—

"So, what time should I come over on Saturday?"

My eyes flew to Bella's face next to me. "Um . . . how about six? We usually eat at seven." I ran my hands through my hair and stared intently at the back of Ben's head. I was an asshole.

"Ah, okay. Should I bring anything?"

She didn't sound upset, so I assumed she hadn't noticed how much attention I was giving to Angela's rear. Relaxing a little, I answered, "Nah, Mom just wants to meet you and make me uncomfortable." I smiled at her and she smiled back, and we finally arrived at the cafeteria where I (hopefully) couldn't stare inappropriately at anyone.

Bella was talking and I realized I wasn't listening to what she was saying—again.

". . . because Charlie—my dad—asked, and I may have mentioned you, and now he's magically going to be coming home an hour earlier each day."

"So he'll be there at four?" I asked after quickly putting together the missing conversation.

Bella nodded and I mentally cursed. By the time I finished dropping off Alice and Jasper and then drove back to Bella's, it would be almost three-thirty. That gave us hardly any time together.

But then again . . .

Hanging out with Bella had been fun and all, but I was always walking away frustrated and horny. Half the time when I got home, Mom was already there, asking me to do something as soon as I walked in the door. Less time alone with Bella might just be a good thing.

"Maybe we could go to your house?" she suggested.

"Um, maybe." I shrugged, not wanting to get her hopes up.

We arrived at the cafeteria and after getting some food, we headed straight for our table. As usual, I glanced over at my friends before sitting down. Normally, the guys and I would share a nod or at least a bird-flip. I didn't get either today.

Rosalie and Emmett were furiously whispering at each other while Alice and Jasper watched uneasily. Emmett had the same angry look about him that was unfamiliar and frankly, kind of terrifying. Rosalie was not cowering though. She was in his face, her hand gesturing and pointing at his chest. My first thought was that they never fight and that something had to be really fucked up for them to not be getting along.

I exhaled slowly and felt fear creep into every part of my body. What Rosalie and I had been doing was really fucked up. Maybe that's what they were fighting about. Maybe Emmett had found out about us.

Jasper caught my eye and his expression changed from concerned to disappointed. Very slightly, he shook his head at me, and I took that to mean it was my fault. My eyes flicked back to Emmett's blood-red face and meaty fists.

I was a dead man.

I turned to Bella and saw she'd also seen the heated exchange between Emmett and Rose. "We have to go," I said quickly.

She looked surprised and glanced between me and my friends again but then nodded. We grabbed the food from our trays and abandoned the cafeteria, heading outside the building and around to a covered walkway.

"Do you know what's going on?" Bella asked once we stopped.

I sat down beside her. "No." She looked confused and I knew I had to give her some reason for dragging her away like that. "I just don't like being around when my friends fight." It was a lame, flimsy excuse, but she nodded in understanding and didn't press me for anything more. Agreeable Bella, as always.

We stayed outside and ate our lunch, talking occasionally. Mostly, I spent my time checking that Emmett wasn't coming after me. There was no way I could stay at school for the rest of the day without running into him, and I was happy to admit I was too big of a coward to deal with an angry Emmett.

When it was time to go to class, Bella stood up but I didn't join her. "I'm gonna skip the rest of today."

Her brow scrunched up and she chewed her lips, looking puzzled. "What about Alice and Jasper?"

It was the first time I ever wished my parents had bought Alice a car as well. "I'll come back for them."

"Oh, okay." She chewed on her lip a bit more, uncertain. "Will I see you this afternoon?"

I was about to say "yes," but then I remembered what she'd said earlier. "Isn't your dad coming home early today?"

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Yeah. I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?"

I nodded and smiled to hide my guilty conscience, then watched as she walked away.

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

"Edward Anthony Cullen, where were you all afternoon?" Alice scrambled into the back seat of the Volvo with a huge grin on her face. It wasn't what I was expecting, especially seeing as I had a heads up about it being her time of the month. I was expecting her to claw my eyes out and scream at me about how evil and selfish I was for screwing around with Rosalie. The fact that she wasn't could only mean one thing.

She didn't know.

Jasper sat in the passenger side and pulled the door shut loudly. He glared at me and then stared pointedly out the front windshield, clenching his jaw. It sure as hell looked like he knew.

I glanced at Alice in the rearview mirror. "I went home. If anyone asks, I wasn't feeling well."

She laughed. "Dad's gonna find out. You know what old lady Cope is like. She'll take any excuse to talk to him." I smiled at her reflection because she'd expect it, and pulled out of the parking lot, relieved I hadn't had to see Emmett or Rose.

Jasper was silent the entire way home while Alice rattled on about the fight. It hadn't been about me at all. It was actually something I never would've thought Rose would get pissy about: Emmett's sense of humor.

She _pretended_ to hate it—everyone knew that. Secretly she loved Emmett's bad jokes, just like the rest of us. But apparently today, she snapped and started bitching him out at lunch right in front of Jasper and Alice.

"You should have seen Emmett!" Alice related. "He gave it back _hard_. Told her how she'd been insufferable the last week and that he was sick to death of it! I almost choked!"

It was just a stupid fight—an argument over nothing. Normal couples had them all the time, but not Rose and Emmett.

"Maybe it's about college . . ." I mused before realizing I should have just kept my mouth shut.

"I don't think so," Alice said. "The college thing has been going on for ages and they've never behaved like this. It was like they were just itching for a fight—both of them!"

We arrived home, and I turned off the engine then unclasped my seat belt.

"I thought you were going to Bella's?" Jasper asked.

"Ah . . . change of plans."

Alice was already out of the car and almost at the door, but Jasper hadn't moved. "You coming?" she yelled impatiently.

"In a minute," he answered.

She huffed and stomped inside, leaving us alone. He turned in his seat and glared daggers at me.

"Any idea what's going on with Rose?"

I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, my intuition kicking in. He definitely knew. Somehow, he'd found out.

I took an unsteady breath before responding. "You heard Emmett—she's PMSing." Jasper might know, but I wasn't idiotic enough to go admitting to anything.

He let out an amused sounding snort. "Yeah, I don't think that's it. I've known Rose a really long time—longer than you—and she's never been like this before. Makes me think someone has done something to piss her off." He didn't even blink as he talked. He was enjoying this—torturing me with his knowledge. Asshole.

I turned and stared straight back at him. "You think _I_ did something?"

"I'm almost certain you did."

I shook my head and scoffed at the irony. Someone finally suspected us when there was nothing going on anymore. "I didn't do anything to Rose. We barely even talk, Jasper."

He chewed on the inside of his lip, still glaring at me. "Every Thursday, Emmett has practice in Port Angeles with the team from four until eight. Every Thursday, you're conspicuously absent during that time."

I looked him straight in the eye. "I have practice, too. You know that."

He continued as though I hadn't said anything. "Neither you nor Rose ever answer your phone during that time, and guess whose car I saw parked just up from her house when I drove by a few weeks ago?" His eyes narrowed even more. "Alice may think you're practicing piano or whatever other bullshit you tell her, but I'm not so sure."

I swallowed and it sounded too loud to me. What was I supposed to do? Keep denying it? Tell him everything?

He didn't give me a chance though. "Look, I don't doubt Rosalie loves Emmett, and I have no idea why you two are hanging out together. I don't want to know, either." He opened his door but stayed seated, pointedly not looking me in the eyes. Somehow that was worse. "Emmett shouldn't be copping the fallout from whatever it was that went on between you and Rose."

I stared at the steering wheel and processed what he'd said. He only had circumstantial evidence, nothing concrete, but it was enough to give us away. Shaking my head, I responded, "You're wrong." Jasper paused and waited for me to continue. His jaw was set, and I knew there was no way I could convince him he was wrong. But he didn't know the whole story. He had no idea Rose was the one who didn't want to be with me anymore.

With absolute conviction, I said, "I'm not the reason she's being like this."

Jasper sighed loudly, frustrated. "Don't be an idiot, Edward." He looked angry, like he didn't want to have to say his next words. "Rose has been like this ever since you started seeing Bella."

My composure slipped and my face screwed up with the tangle of my thoughts. Could Rose really be that upset about me being with Bella? It was so . . . girlish. Not like her at all.

"I still don't think that's it." Jasper rolled his eyes and that just pissed me off. "What do you expect me to do anyway? She won't even talk to me," I muttered, realizing as I said it that I'd essentially just conceded he was right.

Jasper's voice was disappointed when he replied. "She's a girl, Edward. Try saying sorry." He climbed out and slammed his door shut, then walked toward the house, not looking back at me.

I slouched in the car, confused but not convinced. Rose _had_ been worse ever since Bella and I got together, and she _had_ said she didn't want me seeing her. Maybe Jasper was right. And if Jasper was right, that meant Emmett was suffering because of me.

I probably should have gone over to Rose's and talked to her—apologized like Jasper suggested. Rationally, I knew that the sooner I fixed this mess (supposing I could even fix it), the better everything would be for Emmett. But I was tired and it had been a stressful day, and I just didn't feel up to facing Rosalie. So instead, I climbed out of my car and made my way into the house.

Alice and Jasper were in her room so I lingered downstairs and made myself a sandwich. As I chewed my way through the turkey and cheese, I resigned myself to the truth.

I really was an asshole.

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

A/N: So, we're kinda finally getting somewhere. Next chapter could be interesting.


	7. Annie Waits

A/N: Thanks to Furious Kitten and Brianna for the beta work, to the lovely ladies who pre-read for me, and to everyone who reviewed/alerted :)

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

After Alice got out of the car at school Friday morning, Jasper gave me a loaded look.

"Today," was all he said.

I was too tired to deal with this. My mind was filled with thoughts of Rose and Emmett and Bella and _sex,_ and it was really starting to drive me crazy. Nevertheless, I nodded at Jasper so he'd leave me alone, then I opened my door and got out.

It was nerve-wracking thinking about how I could approach Rose. My plan was to pull her aside as we passed in between classes; it was the only way I could talk to her without Emmett around. So many things could go wrong though, like maybe we wouldn't even see each other, or maybe she'd be walking with someone else. She might not even _let_ me talk to her. It was the only plan I had, though, and I honestly didn't have enough concentration to think of a better one.

Emmett's Jeep suddenly pulled into the space next to where Jasper and I were standing. As soon as the engine stopped, Rose was straight out and storming off, her delicious ass looking edible. I shook my head as Emmett climbed out of his side looking tired and worn out. He was smiling at least, unlike the day before.

By the time he was standing next to us, the smile had turned into an outright grin.

"She didn't bitch at me this morning about parking here," he disclosed after checking she was out of hearing range. "This, my friends, is the first time in history a man has outlasted a woman's grudge." He raised his hands to the sky and threw his head back, as though basking in imagined glory.

I laughed as well and congratulated him. "You're officially a legend."

Jasper's response was less enthusiastic. "Way to go, Em," he said.

"So, gents, how are we celebrating? I was thinking beers and the game at my place."

"I can't tonight. Bella's coming over to meet my folks." I would've loved an excuse to get out of that dinner, but somehow I didn't think Emmett's small victory was enough of a reason.

"I'm in," Jasper said, and I scowled at him. As long as there was one friend coming, Emmett wouldn't postpone.

"Next time, Eddie." He grinned at Jasper and launched into a discussion about exactly how many days it had taken to finally get Rose to stop complaining while we headed across the lawn.

The pressure I'd felt all morning about talking to Rose suddenly lifted. Maybe she was over it now. If she wasn't giving Emmett a hard time anymore, then that had to be a sign things were getting better. And if things were getting better, there was absolutely no reason for me to have to talk to her.

Then I saw Jasper out of the corner of my eye, his eyebrows raised, like he still expected me to do this.

Rose _had_ been angry when they showed up this morning, even if they weren't yelling at each other. I could only assume not everything was fixed. I grimaced and nodded almost imperceptibly at him before heading off in the direction of my class.

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

It was in between first and second period when I saw Rose. She was by herself and looked tense, which always made her more intimidating, and I really didn't want to approach her. I knew this might be my only chance though, so I swallowed my fear and quickly walked in her direction. When she saw me, she scowled and looked away, purposely avoiding my eyes.

I fell into step beside her and reached out, lightly touching her arm to get her attention. Her jacket was open, and I got a glimpse of her sweater underneath. It had been one of my favorites, stretchy and easy to remove. I easily remembered how I could swiftly pull it over her head to get to her body, but my mind was brought back to the present when she flinched away.

"I need to talk to you," I said, my voice deeper than it should have been. She was so close, and the sight of her sweater and the smell of her perfume were clouding my mind.

She stopped walking and looked at me, her expression angry. Any doubt I had about how she felt about me vanished. Jasper was right; she was pissed off with me. But under the ire, her face was too pale and her eyes were dull, the dark circles making them look sallow. She was still beautiful, but she looked weaker somehow, foreign. She breathed deeply through her annoyance, her chest rising and falling, which drew my eyes down.

Rosalie's breasts. God, I wanted to bury my face in them.

I remembered belatedly to look back at her eyes and saw her glancing around at the other students passing by. When she looked back at my face, she appeared far more resolute. If I hadn't just seen the anger she harbored for me, I would have thought she wanted me. There was a hunger in her eyes, one I had only ever seen in her bedroom before.

Then she parted her lips and said, "Behind building eight," before turning swiftly and walking off.

I stood on the spot for a few seconds, still slightly dazed from being so close to her. Then her words sunk in, and I understood she _did_ want me. After quickly debating the best route, I left in the other direction. If we were about to do what I thought we were about to do, no one could see us together. I went the back way to building eight, avoiding the path, and then after checking no one was looking, I slipped behind one of the other buildings.

I trudged through the wet grass and avoided the few windows until I could see her. She was leaning against the bricks, the eaves protecting her from the rain. Her eyes followed my every movement as I approached her, and she looked so much more like the Rose I remembered.

Before I'd even reached her, she glared at me. "What do you want?"

Every thought about what I was supposed to be doing had faded as soon as she'd suggested us being alone together. All I saw now was her. All I felt now was how much I wanted her. My entire body was aware she was close enough to touch, and I wanted to, so badly.

Tentatively, I reached out to her, braving the death-stare she was giving me, and ran the back of my fingers down the side of her neck. Her skin was still so smooth and soft—perfect.

"I miss you," I said honestly, my voice dropping to almost a whisper.

She stared at me forever while I stroked her skin. I waited for her, taking in all of her cues. She looked torn, conflicted, and I couldn't understand why. This was all I ever wanted to do, to touch her and feel her.

Finally, she broke her silence. "Are you fucking her?"

My hand stilled when I realized whom she was talking about. _Bella._ That was the reason why Rosalie wasn't kissing me right now.

Bitterly, I laughed. "No, we're not having sex," I said as I resumed stroking her skin, this time keeping my eyes fixed on hers.

It may have been my imagination, but she seemed to ease into my touch, and I could almost feel her tension melt away.

"Thursday," she said as she abruptly pushed away from the wall, away from my hand, and disappeared around the corner.

I stared in that direction for a moment, then adjusted myself before heading off to get to class. _Six days_. I only had to wait six days.

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

Rosalie didn't so much as look at me during lunch, but I looked at her. It was probably a little too obvious; at one point Emmett even shrugged his shoulders at me as if to say 'what?' Bella hadn't said anything about my behavior, but she did ask about yesterday.

"Did you find out what happened between Rosalie and Emmett?"

I took another bite of my burger and nodded. After swallowing, I elaborated. "They just had a fight over Emmett's dumb jokes. Rose has been on edge lately, and Emmett was a bit sick of it."

"Oh." She sipped her soda and I got the feeling she didn't really care what they'd been fighting about. She was probably just trying to get my attention, because I'm a rude asshole who ignores his girlfriend at lunch.

_Girlfriend. _

I stared at Bella for a moment as I thought about the recent development with Rose. Should I break up with her? I didn't really want to. I mean, it would be awkward and uncomfortable to have that conversation, especially today, when she was supposed to be coming over to meet my parents.

Plus, it would be suspicious if I were to suddenly _stop_ seeing her. Alice would want to know what had happened; _Bella_ would want to know. That level of scrutiny wouldn't be a good idea at this point in time, not when I was about to resume clandestine meetings with Rosalie.

I felt bad for Bella though, and I wondered if Rose felt this way about Emmett. For me, I could still like Bella and appreciate her while having sex with Rosalie. We were at an early stage in our relationship, so nothing was too serious. But Rosalie loved Emmett. How did she ever reconcile her conscience after what we did together?

Bella smiled at me, a little self-conscious under my gaze, and I gave her a crooked grin to make up for my rudeness. She was a sweet girl, and she deserved someone who would look after her. If I was going to keep seeing her while I slept with Rosalie, I had to start being a better boyfriend. I needed to try harder.

"What if I pick you up tonight?" I asked.

Her hands stopped with a sandwich halfway to her mouth as she froze. "Um . . . sure."

Was it really that shocking that I'd suggest picking her up? Had I really been that inattentive? We'd spent a lot of time together, I'd thought. But maybe I was wrong.

She took her bite and finished chewing, still looking a little surprised. "My dad will be at home. Is that okay?"

My resolve was unshakable. A good boyfriend would talk to his girlfriend's father.

"It'll be fine. I have to meet him sometime, right?"

She smiled, and I took a bite of my burger and then glanced in Rosalie's direction again. She was smiling too, I noticed. Jasper caught my eye and gave me an approving nod.

It was worth it. It was _all_ worth it.

After lunch, we strolled to class together, Bella's hand in mine. Trying harder, I touched her more than I ever had in public, even going so far as to wrap my arm around her waist before dropping it to the top of her ass. It was definitely a mistake. My dick was all too aware that there was a female close by, and my brain flooded with misguided lust.

Driven by a need to just _feel_, I pulled Bella aside and kissed her—_really_ kissed her, and she blushed fire red to all the jeers of the surrounding students. I grinned and carried my bag in front of me. It was a prelude, a taste of what I could look forward to.

My mind was busy justifying how being with Rose would be better for my relationship with Bella. We could take things slow and it wouldn't matter. I could kiss her and feel her up and not be frustrated about the lack of sex. And by the time Rose left for college, Bella and I would be ready to take that next step and really be together. Everything would work out perfectly.

As soon as I got home that afternoon, I was out of the car before Jasper and Alice. I went upstairs and turned on music and didn't even care that they most likely knew what I was doing.

I spanked it like it was the last time I'd ever get to. I thought of Rosalie's tits, her mouth, her _ass_, and all the possibilities that Thursday held.

When I was finished, I felt better than I had since . . . we last had sex.

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

A/N: LightHeartLoreli's latest Roseward fic, Minuet in F you Major, kinda owns me right now. It's in my favs :)


	8. Best Imitation of Myself

A/N: Sorry! I had to move.

Thanks to Brianna and Furious Kitten for the beta work, to the lovely ladies who pre-read for me, and to everyone who reviewed/alerted :)

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

At around five-thirty, I got ready to go and pick Bella up. I wasn't even worried about having her over for dinner anymore. My parents could say anything and it wouldn't get me down. I felt light, happy, _relieved._

The sight of the cruiser was a sobering image, though, and I had to swallow and take a deep breath before getting out of my car.

_It's just Bella's dad,_ I repeated to myself as I made my way across their brick driveway.

When I reached the front door, I knocked firmly and waited. In the background, I could hear the TV faintly and the distinct squeak the single armchair makes as someone stands up. Squaring my shoulders, I tried to look respectable, and by the time the door swung inward, I'd planted a friendly smile on my face and an innocent look in my eyes.

Chief Swan was not an old man, and in a lot of ways, he was like my dad. There was only a smattering of gray through his hair, and he was still in good shape. But where my dad looked welcoming and open, Chief Swan looked closed. His dark eyes took in my appearance, his features not giving away one iota of what he was thinking. I tried not to fidget or feel too self-conscious, but it was hard. It _felt_ like he could see straight through me.

"Edward," he greeted me with his slightly gruff voice.

"Evening, Chief Swan." He didn't invite me in, so I stayed put.

"Bella's just finishing up getting ready," he said and I nodded, showing him I was an understanding boyfriend. He glanced out the corner of his eye then back at me, his head tilted just enough to make me realize he was uncertain of how to proceed.

"I know things have changed since I was a kid," he began, looking almost reluctant, "but Bella is still a young girl, and you need to respect that." He stared at me, trying to ensure I heard him, and my eyes began to water with the effort of maintaining his gaze.

"Of course," I said as seriously as I could.

He stood aside a little, breaking eye contact, and I blinked repeatedly in relief. "Okay then. Do you want to wait in here?" he asked.

As much as I really didn't, I nodded and stepped inside. He returned to the worn armchair and sat down while I took a seat on the couch Bella and I used to make out on.

"How's your father?" Chief Swan asked.

"He's good," I answered. "Really busy at work."

He nodded thoughtfully, then asked, "Your mother?"

"She's great. Really looking forward to meeting Bella tonight."

Chief Swan's mustache rose up on one side as he smiled.

I heard the soft thuds of Bella coming down the stairs and turned in my seat to watch her, standing once she was in sight. She looked mostly the same as normal, except her lips were darker and she was wearing a dressier shirt than usual. Her smile was uncertain as she greeted me, and she kept shooting glances at her dad as she approached.

"You look great," I said, knowing the Chief would appreciate it.

Bella blushed, all embarrassed, then spoke to her dad. "Okay, well, we're gonna go."

He nodded, and his eyes met mine for just a brief moment before he turned his attention back to the TV. "Have fun, he muttered."

We escaped out the door and I took her hand as we walked to my car.

"Sorry about that," she said. "I hope he wasn't too annoying."

"It was fine." Personally, I thought I'd passed easily. Chief Swan had just met his daughter's boyfriend for the first time, and I was polite, respectful, nice to her, and the son of a doctor. What else could he ask for?

"He won't do that again," she assured me, and I smiled, showing her none of it bothered me.

We drove quietly back to my house, pulling into the garage and parking beside Dad's Mercedes. Bella's eyes were wide as she took in the cars and the rows of camping gear mounted on the walls. It dawned on me that this was the first time Bella had ever been to my home.

I never felt ashamed of my family's wealth, because my dad had to work for it—a lot harder than some. But I did forget occasionally that most people didn't have this level of luxury in their lives. Bella didn't say anything, but she glanced around constantly and looked more unsure than usual.

"My dad loves camping," I explained. "It's the one thing he loves to do when he has some time off—which isn't often," I added, a little defensively.

She didn't reply, just climbed out of the car and stood waiting for me to direct her. I led her through the house and into the living area. It was just home to me, but it was impressive to anyone who wasn't used to it. Bella eyed the glass windows and the size of the room, but her surveillance was broken by Alice's voice.

"Bella!"

She came running over and swung her arm around Bella's shoulders, dragging her forward and into the house.

"Come and meet Mom and Dad and then I can show you my room."

I followed behind them, not annoyed at all with being relieved of my duties. Mom came out of the pantry at the sound of Alice's voice and looked over Bella as she approached. Her eyes were tight as she surveyed my girlfriend, but then her mouth curved in a pleased smile, revealing her approval.

"This is Mom," Alice introduced.

"Hi, Mrs. Cullen," Bella greeted, her voice barely more than a whisper.

"Call me Esme." Mom's face changed and she was all warmth now, her eyes doing that thing where she looked proud. "I hope you don't have any allergies. Edward wasn't certain if you did." Mom glanced at me then, the same reproachful look she'd given me earlier when I'd been given the 'how to look after a girlfriend' lecture.

"No, no allergies," Bella replied and I smirked because I was right, even if I hadn't known it.

"Well, that's lucky," Mom said as she caught my smile. "Edward, can you fetch your father?"

I gave Bella a quick smile before running up to the second floor to Dad's study, and I quickly rapped on the wall to get his attention. He looked up from his computer expectantly.

"I take it she's here?" he asked, already standing and straightening his shirt.

"Yeah."

He wandered out the door, patting me on the back as he passed, and I followed behind.

Once Dad reached the bottom of the stairs, he called out, "Isabella Swan. Nice to finally meet you. Your Dad mentioned you were coming back to live in Forks, but I haven't heard anything for a while. Of course, that might have something to do with my son here," he joked, badly. "I'm Carlisle," he added, holding out his hand for her to shake.

"Hi." She was bright red as she shook my dad's hand, and I was embarrassed on her behalf. My dad was "admired" for his looks, and almost all females reacted this way when they first met him. Of course Bella wouldn't be any different, but it was still disappointing. My mom grinned in amusement and Alice rolled her eyes before dragging Bella upstairs.

"I guess I'll see you later," I called out after them, letting my annoyance seep into my voice. Alice laughed, not caring at all, but Bella did look a little apologetic before she disappeared.

"She's nice," Mom began. "A little shy though." She handed me a plate of beans and I took them over to the dining table.

"She's new in town, of course she's shy," I argued.

Mom gave me a condescending smile as she carried over the scalloped potatoes.

"I think she's probably just like her father," Dad added. "He's not really talkative or outgoing, more sensible and contemplative."

I really didn't appreciate the thought that Bella might grow up to be like her dad, but I stayed quiet. After all, I hadn't picked her because she was exciting; she was the rational choice of girlfriend for my final year of school. It helped that she was pretty and appealing in a way none of the other girls at Forks High were, but I didn't expect us to be together forever, so what she was like as an adult didn't concern me.

"Edward? I asked you to take the roast in."

My mom was staring at me, her eyebrows raised as she waited for me to respond to the instruction I hadn't heard.

"I'm doing it," I grumbled.

We finished setting the table, then I went upstairs to get Alice and Bella. After knocking, I opened the door to find them both perched on Alice's bed, deep in conversation. Bella's blush covered her face and her chest and probably went all the way to her toes, so I figured I'd just interrupted her talking about something she didn't want me to hear.

"Dinner's ready."

"We'll be right down," Alice answered, giving me a look that clearly showed her displeasure at my intrusion.

"Fine. Enjoy your date." I closed the door and stomped back down the stairs, infuriated by Alice and also at Bella for going along with it. Her acquiescence to everything was apparently part of her nature and not just limited to my requests, which made it a much less desirable trait.

"They're coming soon," I said to Mom and Dad as I sat down and helped myself to a scoop of potatoes.

"They're just being girls," Mom commented as soon as she registered my mood. "If it helps your ego, they're probably up there talking about you."

I took a huge mouthful and chewed, and she was right, it did help. Of course that was what they were talking about. Why else would Bella look so embarrassed?

Mom and Dad didn't start serving their food until Alice was in sight. Bella sat down next to me, quietly saying "sorry" so only I could hear. I looked her over, and she appeared genuinely scared that I was upset. I rubbed her leg under the table to calm her down and let her know I was no longer mad.

Dinner was almost like any other family meal. Mom definitely liked Bella, although sometimes she had a pitying expression, like she felt sorry for her. Dad was entirely too friendly, and I cringed every time his attention caused her to blush. Alice chatted whenever there was a lull, so awkward silences were never an issue, and by the time we ate dessert, Bella seemed a lot more at ease.

At some point, she agreed that she would come over for dinner again, and I had to stop myself from objecting. She _should_ be coming over to dinner, and I should be happy about it. Alice got all excited and started planning a sleepover, and Mom had to slow her down and remind her that Chief Swan would have to agree.

Bella smiled shyly and promised Alice she would ask her dad _and _immediately send Alice a text with his response. They hugged, and then Bella said goodnight and thank you to my parents before following me out to the garage.

Once we were in the car, she did something she'd never done before. She leaned across the console, put her hands on my face, and kissed me. Bella had never been forward in our . . . interactions, and I was surprised by her behavior. It _could_ have been sexy, but Bella still wasn't the best kisser, and the awkward angle and the unnatural way she was trying to take the lead kind of ruined the whole experience.

I gently eased her back onto her side with my lips then kissed her properly, running my hand down her arm and linking our fingers. Her face was flushed and for once, she looked more excited than embarrassed and I chuckled at the thought. After slowly pulling away, I started the engine and began reversing out before she could try kissing me again.

Once we were out of our long driveway, Bella began talking. It was rare for her to begin a conversation, and I was starting to get suspicious that someone, namely Alice, was putting words in her mouth.

"Did you know Alice and Jasper are sleeping together?"

I kept my eyes on the road. "It doesn't come as a surprise," I answered, but had to add, "Alice is my sister, so it's not really something I want to talk about."

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Bella nodding. She waited until we were around a few more bends before starting again.

"Have you . . ." She seemed to lose all her confidence, but it was pretty clear where this conversation was headed.

"You want to know if I've had sex?" I guessed.

"Um . . . Yeah."

I didn't know if I should lie or not. My history had never really been discussed with anyone, but I think they all realized I wasn't a virgin. Maybe Alice wasn't really sure, and she and Bella had joined forces to finally find out.

Although it might lead to more questions about who, when, where, et cetera, I really didn't want Bella, or anyone else, thinking of me as a virgin. So I kept my eyes on the road and answered her honestly. "Yes."

"Was it a girlfriend?" Her voice was a little more forceful with this one. She had to know it wasn't. Alice would have already filled her in on my zero dates past.

"No."

She swallowed and her whole face fell, and I realized that probably sounded bad to her, like she wasn't anything special.

"It was only one time," I added, this time making it up, and although Bella didn't exactly look thrilled, she didn't look crushed anymore. "What's with all this anyway?" I asked, and then I provided her with an opening to tell me. "Did Alice put you up to it?"

"No!" she answered emphatically. "Alice wasn't doing anything like that. I just . . . I just wanted to know. I mean, people always go on about how guys only think about one thing . . ." She trailed off, embarrassed by her admission.

"We do think about it a lot," I confessed, trying to lighten the conversation. "But don't worry, Bella, thinking isn't doing. I'm not going to rush things with us." It was nice to be able to be honest with her. She still looked disappointed, so I smiled at her crookedly and the frown vanished.

Soon after, we arrived at her home. Not wanting to freak her out again, I gave her a simple kiss on the lips before getting out and opening her door. Like the good boyfriend I was trying to be, I walked her up the driveway to make sure she was safe, kind of hoping her dad could see just how gentlemanly I was being.

We paused on her front stoop and I let go of her hand. "Goodnight, Bella. I'll see you on Monday."

She smiled a little and then let herself into the house, then I walked back to my car and drove home.

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

A/N: There's a Roseward contest running that's now accepting entries. The profile is here: http:/www[DOT]fanfiction[DOT]net/u/2529769/FilthyRoseward_and_Co

Please write Roseward! We need more!


	9. From Above

A/N: An update! Apologies for it being a lot later than I said it would be. My life is a soap opera lately.

Thanks to Furious Kitten and Brianna for the beta work, to the lovely ladies who pre-read for me, and to everyone who reviewed/alerted :)

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

"Just stay like that," Rose ordered. "That's it—don't move." She continued to ride me, one hand painfully gripping my shoulder, the other clasped on her headboard. She was stark naked, all creamy flesh and full breasts bouncing everywhere.

Her face went blank and I knew she was close. Then she closed her eyes and ground down on me harder until she got there. As she moaned, her body shuddered and slowed. She took a moment to recover before rolling off me sideways, a sated goddess.

Normally I wouldn't last long enough for Rose to come while she was on top, but this was our second time in less than ten minutes. I'd taken her over the desk as soon as I'd come through the door. It was like I was rabid, starving for her, but she was the same, so we just . . . fucked. Roughly. I felt a bit bad after, but she seemed so freaking relieved that it didn't last.

I wasn't finished yet, so I crawled over her and nudged her legs apart. As I slipped back inside, her lips turned up a little, amused. I lowered my face to her neck and began to kiss her body—anywhere I could. She felt so good and I couldn't get enough of _anything_. Not close enough, not tasting enough, not feeling enough, and definitely not deep enough. But that didn't stop me from trying.

"So good," I murmured against her, slowing down and wanting to take my time.

She seemed to come out of her daze a bit and her legs tightened around my waist.

"Harder."

I pushed up on my forearms and looked her in the eyes, meeting their icy blue. Why did she always have to do that? Why did she always have to make it rough?

Annoyed, I thrust into her forcefully. She narrowed her eyes as if to say "Is that all you've got?" so I did it again, and again.

The harder I went, the more she groaned and carried on, and I had to stare at her tits and ignore her eyes so I could get off. I focused on the pale flesh and the bouncing and told myself how hot they were, and then I was back where I needed to be, ready to come.

"I love how you fuck me," she panted, and that did it. With one last thrust, I came, pumping into her as the sensation blinded me.

I practically fell on top of her, exhausted from the exertion. I wasn't even there a full second when I felt her starting to tense underneath me.

"Don't worry, I'm moving," I said as I rolled away pre-emptively.

"You're all sweaty. It's gross." She wiped her hands on the bedspread and then started to get up.

"I was sweaty after the first time, too, but that didn't seem to bother you"

She looked at me like someone would look at an annoying child. She didn't bite, though, choosing to go and wash up instead of arguing with me.

I lay back on the bed and felt dirty. That wasn't how I'd pictured our reunion. Sure there was always going to be sex, but it was supposed to be, I don't know, more romantic or something. I'd missed Rose. I'd missed the way she smelled and the way she felt. I'd missed her kisses so much and how she always knew what to do. Instead of enjoying having her back as I'd planned, I'd just fucked her raw—gripping and squeezing and using her to get off.

It was her fault. When she'd first opened her door, I'd started kissing her, feeling her. She was the one who went straight to my pants trying to get my dick free. She was the one who was pushing my hand down to touch her, hurrying me up. Then she was the one who suggested the desk, knowing full well how much I liked to fuck her bent over that thing.

There was a flush and the sound of running water, and I tried to think of what I was going to do. If Rosalie was going to be like this when we were together, I didn't know if I wanted to be a part of that. The door opened and she came out in her bathrobe.

"Can I ask you something?" I patted the bed expectantly even though I knew she wouldn't come.

"Give me a minute," she answered as she went and pulled a cigarette out of her drawer and lit it. Then she opened the window and pulled out the ashtray before finally perching on the edge of the bed and placing the glass dish on her nightstand.

"Do you even like me?" I asked.

She scoffed and a puff of smoke escaped her lips. "Are you serious? You want to have that talk again?"

"This is different." We had discussed early on why she was with Emmett and how she always would be. She'd told me then that she liked me, a lot, but her future was with Emmett and she couldn't give me anything more than sex. I hadn't wanted anything more than sex, so it had worked just fine. Until now.

"Why does it always have to be rough?"

She took a deep drag of her cigarette then tapped the ash off. "I like it that way."

Frustrated, I rolled my eyes. Rosalie would talk in snarky circles as long as I gave her the opportunity. So I decided to be straight up with her.

"I could be anyone—there's nothing special between us. And the sex . . . we're just using each other."

"I don't have sex with anyone," she said defensively. There was a pause before she answered the rest. "The way we have sex, that's what makes us _us._ I have enough tenderness in my life. What I want is to really feel what we're doing. Only you can do that to me." She stubbed out her cigarette and looked me in the eyes. "If you want sweet, Edward, you already have it. Go and fuck Bella."

"Argh," I groaned. "This is what I'm talking about. Why do you have to be such a . . ." I stopped myself just in time.

"Bitch?" Her jaw was set. She was ready to fight now.

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to."

"Well, fine then. Why do you have to be like that? Why can't you just be nice?"

She laughed, a forced, sarcastic sound. "This is who I am, Edward. This is who I've always been." She got up from the bed and threw her lighter in her drawer, slamming it shut before turning back. "Maybe that's just not enough for you anymore?"

I was fuming, so I climbed off her bed and started gathering my clothes, pulling them on as I found them. There was more to Rose than what she showed me. I'd seen her with Emmett, seen the soft smiles and the doe eyes. She was so much more than just a bitch.

"You're not like this around him."

Exasperated, she threw her hands up. "Did it not occur to you that that's not who I am? _This_ is me. Emmett deserves someone nicer so I'm nicer for him. He's gentle and wants to coddle me, so I let him."

I barely heard the rest of her sentence. "So I don't deserve nice? Is that what you're saying?"

For a moment, Rosalie looked uncertain. Then she fired up again. "That's not what I meant and you know it! Emmett wouldn't love me if I was this way around him. You prefer it."

"But I don't! Jesus, Rose, that's what I'm telling you."

"Well you used to. You certainly didn't mind it while you were fucking me!" She was flushed red with anger, and she yanked on her drawer to pull out her cigarettes again, retrieving one and lighting it. She blew a huge plume of smoke into the room, and I watched while I felt the blood pump furiously around my body.

Less than an hour ago, I'd felt ecstatic about coming to see Rose. Now I felt like an idiot. Was she serious that she acted for Emmett, that she went out of her way to be nicer with him?

My rage was ebbing, so I sat back down on her bed and put my head in my hands, finally acknowledging that if I didn't like this, I had to stop doing it.

"I'm going home," I said, standing up and barely glancing her way.

"Fine," Rose replied, all attitude. "I'll see you next Thursday."

My feet stopped moving and I turned back to glare at her. She raised her chin and narrowed her eyes. "I'll be here," she said.

"I won't." I walked out the door and slammed it behind me.

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

That weekend, I invited Bella over. We made out on the couch in my room and she even sat on my lap and tired grinding against me. It didn't really work. There wasn't enough contact and she felt too rigid, so I distracted her by groping her boobs for a bit before taking her home.

The start of the next week at school was tense. I watched Rose all the time, taking in everything about how she acted around Emmett, but all my observations did was make me jealous. It didn't look like an act. After school, they'd meet in the parking lot and he'd draw her in close and kiss her lovingly. She eased into his body and took it—enjoyed it—and I wished I knew why she wouldn't do that with me.

They walked hand in hand in the cafeteria and he held her thigh under the table while they ate. It was what I imagined a couple in love looked like. I knew they were, but now I was _seeing_ it. That's when I realized why she was like that with him and not me. She didn't love me.

Bella spent those few days giving me sideways glances, so I made sure to always hold her hand to try and reassure her. I kissed her on the cheek whenever I remembered and even started picking her up for school after Jasper. If she suspected anything, she never mentioned it.

Rose caught my eye just once. It was on Wednesday afternoon. I'd just resolved to stop watching her and Emmett. All it was doing was showing me everything I didn't have, and I'd figured out what I wanted to know so there was no reason to keep doing it. Then I was running late for class and Rose was walking in my direction and our eyes met.

Hers weren't cold, and I felt my need for her grow. Instead of making a snarky remark or a nasty comment, she looked like she wanted me, and not in the rough way. Without saying anything, she turned and walked in the opposite direction, and I was left feeling empty and confused.

I was distracted all through Calculus that afternoon, reminding myself why things were the way they were between us. She told me right at the start why she was with Emmett, how he was the type of guy she wanted to marry and spend the rest of her life with. So why was she moving away from him then? And why bother with me?

I wanted more answers, and even though I knew it was a bad idea, I was going to get them.

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

The next day I was less decisive. My mind tormented me the night before with a Rosalie sex dream, and it was clouding my waking thoughts. I watched her ass as she walked away from Emmett's car that morning and wanted so badly to have a repeat of the week before with the desk. The whole day was like that, my resolve melting away whenever I saw anything even remotely related to sex.

After school, I found myself outside her bedroom door with no resistance left. She was mere feet away, ready, waiting for me. As much as I didn't like what we were to each other, I still wanted her, and I was weak.

I raised my hand to the door and knocked, feeling guilty for not being stronger. She pulled open the door but didn't step aside.

Swallowing, I looked at her, waiting for one of us to do or say something. My eyes wandered lower and took in her whole body was there, mine to touch if I could just reconcile myself to what we were.

This had been the way things were for almost a year and it had worked well. Why was I trying to fight what I wanted and could have?

Bella wasn't enough for me. Not yet anyway. She couldn't make me feel the way Rose could, couldn't satisfy me. Just like Emmett wasn't enough for Rose.

I reached out to touch her face, but she drew away.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

Nodding, I pushed her back into her room, closing the door behind me. Then I took her face in my hands and kissed her. Not as gently as I'd seen Emmett doing it, not with the love that they shared, but I put everything Rosalie and I had into that kiss.

It was pure need.

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

A/N: Voting has opened in the Roseward contest. Read review and vote for your favorites here: http:/www[DOT]fanfiction[DOT]net/u/2529769/FilthyRoseward_and_Co


	10. Late

A/N: Thanks to Brianna and Furious Kitten for the beta work and to everyone who reviewed/alerted :) I'm not sure how updates are going to go during December. I'll be away from home for most of it but I'll do my best to get at least one chapter out.

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

"Don't forget Bella!" Alice yelled from the back seat.

"Shit," I muttered as I pulled over to turn around. We'd just picked up Jasper and out of habit, I'd taken the turn to school instead of heading toward Bella's house. Jasper smirked at me from the passenger seat and called me a dumbass under his breath.

It was Friday morning, and I was distracted. Yesterday afternoon I'd spent with Rose, and she'd given me a mind-numbingly good blow job. At one point, she told me to fuck her mouth, which I did. Then she'd fingered herself and made me lick it off as she rode me, and I couldn't get the images out of my mind.

"What's with you this morning?" Jasper asked when I bumped up the curve as I turned into Bella's driveway.

As soon as the car stopped, Alice was out and running up to knock on Bella's front door.

"Oh fuck." Jasper dragged his hands down his face, groaning as he did so. "Tell me you and Rose sorted things out. No, don't tell me."

I waited to see if he was going to start lecturing me, but then the front door opened and Bella came out. She looked nice today. Her hair was down and she had on a blue blouse; she looked soft, feminine.

"Nothing's going on between me and Rose. We sorted everything out last week," I said, careful not to meet his eyes. I could feel his skeptical gaze searing into the side of my head, but I ignored it, instead focusing on Bella. She climbed into the car behind my seat.

"Morning."

"Hey, beautiful," I responded, smiling at her in the rear view mirror.

We drove to school and I managed not to mess anything else up. When we arrived, we all got out, but Alice didn't drag Bella away like she normally did. They just stood there, Alice with a suspiciously large smile on her face.

"Girl's choice dance is coming up," she said, smiling at Jasper.

"Oh, really?" he responded. "And just who were you thinking of asking?"

"Hmm," she murmured, her finger against her chin in mock contemplation. "I was eyeing off Tyler Crowley the other day. Bella's probably going to ask Mike."

Jasper played along. "I wonder if there's anything a guy could do to change a lady's mind?" He pulled her back to his chest and began whispering in her ear, so I looked away. I didn't need to see that stuff.

Bella came and leaned back against the car next to me. "So . . . do you wanna go to the dance with me?" she asked.

On the outside, I smiled, but inside I was groaning. For the past year, I'd had fantastic sex with Rosalie and never had to do any of the other relationship stuff. This was the part about having a girlfriend that I wasn't looking forward to.

There was no way I could say no, though. Not without upsetting her.

"Of course." I kissed her gently and held her hand. We stared at each other for a moment and then at the school; anywhere except at Alice and Jasper's smooching.

"That's perfect!" Alice squealed. She dragged Jasper over to where Bella and I were standing and began talking excitedly.

"We'll have dinner at our house first! All of us! And then we'll get a limo to the dance and back. And then Bella and Jasper can sleepover at our house!" Alice finished with a giant grin.

I scoffed, "There's no way Chief Swan is going to let Bella stay with me."

Alice's brow furrowed. "Not with you, idiot. With me. Of course he wouldn't let her stay with you."

"He really likes Alice," Bella said from beside me. "I'm sure he'll be okay with it." She was grinning at Alice and then at me—a co-conspirator. I just knew that one day the alliance between my sister and my girlfriend was going to burn me.

"Okay," I muttered with a sense of foreboding.

Emmett's Jeep pulled in beside us then and he climbed out, giant grin in place. Rosalie got out of her side and walked around the back of the beast.

"Morning," Emmett boomed. He sure was in a good mood this morning. Once Rose was beside him, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and squeezed her in tight.

She smiled and giggled.

_Giggled._

Rosalie never giggles. I narrowed my eyes and waited for her to look at me. Of course she didn't.

"What's up?" Emmett asked.

"We're making plans," Alice said excitedly. "For the spring dance."

"They better involve food." He laughed at his own joke, and his good mood was contagious. I was smiling despite myself.

Alice rolled her eyes and grabbed onto Bella's arm. "Let's go. This will be easier without them around. Come on, Rose."

Alice marched away, Bella trailing behind her like a dog on a leash. Emmett looked at Rose expectantly.

"I better go," she said, smiling coyly.

Emmett looked far too disappointed. "Bye, baby," he said, tilting her chin up and kissing her with pouted lips.

She closed her eyes and looked just like a Disney princess getting a kiss from her prince.

That was what I'd been complaining about the day before. She was different with him: caring and sweet and considerate. With me she was demanding and rough, always taking what she wanted. Why did I only get her bad side?

Emmett reached down, pulled her ass closer to him, and gave it a whack.

"I'll see you soon," he said, giving her one last kiss.

She turned around and followed after Alice and Bella, and I looked away, straight into Jasper's inquiring eyes.

"Rose seems happier," he said dryly.

"She's been in a fucking fantastic mood lately. I'll put up with two weeks of Bitchalie if it means this is my reward. She even gave me a blow job in the car this morning." He grinned and I groaned. I didn't need to hear that shit.

Jasper mustn't have noticed my unenthusiastic response. He high fived Emmett. "Score. Ah, so that's why you guys were late."

That should have been my reaction. If I wasn't so busy being pissed off at Rosalie, I would have done the same thing.

"It was awesome," Emmett continued. "She got me to pull over after I picked her up. Best. Morning. Ever."

I should have blocked my ears or something. It was impossible for me to feel happy for him like Jasper, not when I had intimate knowledge of just how good those lips could feel. And he was gloating. Wasn't that bad form?

The bell rang and I picked up my bag, ready to put some distance between myself and Emmett. Jasper and he did the same, and we all started walking to class.

"So what are these plans Alice is making?" Emmett asked.

I relaxed with the change of topic. "The usual. Way over the top for a school dance. She wants to get a limo and have dinner together beforehand," I responded.

"And let's not forget the most important part," Jasper interrupted. "Bella might be having a sleepover." His smile was smug.

"So that'll be the big night, huh?" Emmett asked me.

I hadn't even considered that. Did Bella think I wanted to have sex after the dance? She didn't hesitate to agree to sleepover, so she mustn't have. Unless . . .

Could that be part of Alice's plan? I had a quick flash of Bella in the car the other week, kissing me and talking about sex. She'd been pretty forward. Had I failed to realize my girlfriend was coming on to me?

"Maybe," I said, suddenly uncertain.

"I bet she's a wildcat in the sack," Emmett joked. "The quiet ones always are."

Jasper laughed. "So what would that make Rose? A dead lay?"

Emmett wasn't annoyed, but he didn't laugh. "My Rosie is perfection," was all he said.

We separated to go to our classes and my mood plummeted. I couldn't stop picturing Rose going down on Emmett in the Jeep. She sucked my dick just yesterday, quite thoroughly. Was it really that easy for her to flit back and forth between us?

And then Emmett had said she was perfection, so now I was wondering how they had sex – what she was like with him. She'd said she had enough tenderness; was that what they were like together? Gentle and loving all the way? It was hard for me to reconcile that thought with the kind of sex Rose and I had.

Again, I saw her head bobbing up and down in his lap and I grimaced. I hated that she'd been doing that. I mean . . . I'd always known, but somehow it was more real now. There was a sick feeling in my stomach, and I realized I was jealous. And I didn't even have any right to be.

"Fuck," I groaned quietly.

I entered the classroom and sat at my desk, laying my head on my arms to think. Things had to change. I'd tried staying away from Rose before and it hadn't worked, but I couldn't keep being a part of this. Maybe I could ween myself off her.

I thought of Bella again and how she may have been trying to tell me something. Maybe if Bella and I could start moving forward in our relationship, I wouldn't need Rose at all anymore.

At lunch, I waited for Bella and pulled her away from everyone so we could talk. As soon as she rounded the corner with Alice, I had her hand in mine and was taking her somewhere private.

"What's this about?" she asked once we were out of earshot.

I kissed her, pulling her against me and feeling her body. "Can you come over this afternoon?" I asked, making sure to smile the way she seemed to like.

Slightly breathless, she answered, "Yes."

I kissed her again, excited by my plan.

"What brought this on?" She didn't look annoyed. On the contrary, she looked almost as eager as me.

I shrugged and tried to sound casual. "I think I finally figured something out."

She smiled and kissed me, shyly at first, and then with more pressure. When she pulled away, she was blushing. "I'm glad."

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

A/N: Congratulations to all the Roseward winners! Loved reading the entries.


	11. Rock This Bitch

A/N: Giant apologies for the wait. This chapter was . . . difficult to write. Thanks to Briana and Furious Kitten for the beta work, and to everyone who reviewed or alerted.

For Roseward lovers . . . the second half of this chapter makes up for the first half.

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

My mom wasn't home so Bella and I were free to disappear straight into my bedroom. I closed the door behind us, grabbed her by the waist, and kissed her like I kissed Rosalie.

This was new territory for us. I wasn't holding back, thinking there would be no relief after the build up. This time I let myself get excited.

Quickly, I found my remote and put on some music to drown out our sounds. Then I returned to Bella, noting how she looked just as aroused as me, and as I kissed her again, I inched my hand under her blouse and felt the soft skin of her back.

Bella groaned and leaned into me more, so I slid my hand down further, dipping it just below the waist of her jeans. Again she seemed into it, but I couldn't go any further without getting her to take her denim chastity belt off.

"My bed," I said gruffly, gently tugging her toward it.

She nodded and we began an awkward joint walk further into my room. When we reached my bed, we kind of tumbled into it.

I felt Bella's boobs first, then I lifted her shirt so I could wrap my lips around them. She was wearing a plain cotton bra, white, and it was perfect on her. Just like lace and ribbons were perfect on Rosalie. Both were sexy, just in different ways. I pushed the cups down and looked at her breasts for the first time. They were a lot smaller than Rose's, but I expected that. I sucked on her skin and automatically began grinding myself against her leg. Then I realized that might freak her out and stopped.

"It's okay," she panted.

I bit down on her nipple with my mouth and she groaned. "You sure?" I asked.

"Yes."

I aligned myself again and started to hump her slowly. Last time we'd tried this, she'd been in control and it had been a miserable failure. This time, I was in the driver's seat, and it felt good. I moved to a slightly fleshier part of her thigh and kept going, sucking on her breasts and grinding. Her hips thrust up against me so I put my hand between her legs.

"Is this okay?"

"Uh-huh," she answered, pressing up against my hand. I moved it over her a couple of times, but she still had those fucking jeans on.

"Can I take these off?" I asked, watching for her reaction.

Her body stilled and she flushed, obviously embarrassed.

"It will feel so much better," I promised her.

Wide-eyed, she stared back at me, her exposed cleavage heaving slightly. "Okay."

I took it slow, kissing her chest as I undid the buttons. She lifted her hips for me and I wriggled the thick material under her butt. She giggled nervously as I pulled the stiff jeans all the way down and over her feet. She was so innocent looking with her thin, pale legs and purple panties. I ran my hands over her thighs and brought my lips to hers.

"You're beautiful."

As we kissed, I slid my hand back between her legs, and this time I groaned. I began gently rubbing her through her panties, then I dropped my head back down to her breasts.

All Bella's embarrassment disappeared, and suddenly she was back to moving her hips and threading her fingers through my hair. She moaned and then flinched, and I realized her panties had to be chaffing a bit.

"Can I touch you . . . bare?" I asked.

Her hips were still moving, seeking my fingers. "Okay," she whispered. Her eyes closed tight. I quickly slipped my hand inside the cotton.

She was hot and . . . hairy. Rose was waxed. It grew out a bit every month or so, but never anything like this. It wasn't gross or anything, just different. Yet another way that Bella was pure and innocent. I found what I was searching for and began to gently rub.

Bella relaxed but her eyes stayed shut tight. I kissed her and drove my tongue deep into her mouth, at the same time moving my fingers lower and finding her opening. She tensed as soon as I was touching it. That was probably going too fast anyway. I retreated back to her clit and focused on bringing her to orgasm.

"You're gorgeous," I whispered into her ear, trying to distract her from what I'd just done. With my free hand, I grabbed her ass and massaged it, playing with her body.

She panted against my kisses and then finally they turned to sounds. Her body jolted and her eyes flew open and then Bella Swan climaxed. I stilled my hand but kept it on her, wanting to feel every last throb.

"Oh, God," she said. Her whole face was flushed and her eyes were bright. It was adorable.

Before I pulled my hand out of her pants, I slipped it down lower and felt the result of her orgasm. It made me even hornier.

"You're so wet," I mumbled, dazed by my sudden arousal and wondering if she'd be up to letting me slide my dick along her.

"Oh," she gasped, as though she didn't realize. Maybe she didn't?

If she were Rose, I'd be stripping those damn panties off and rubbing myself up against her before slipping my dick in and fucking her senseless. But this was Bella, and I couldn't do that. So I removed my hand and lay back a bit from her. My dick was throbbing painfully, so I rubbed it through my jeans.

"What . . . um, what do you want . . . to do?" she asked timidly.

Bella's eyes were glued to my hand, noticing the way I rubbed myself. She looked a little terrified, which wasn't comforting. Rose wouldn't ask, ever. She would just do. I had no idea what Bella was up for so I didn't know what to say.

"What do you want to do?" I asked back.

Bella blushed. "I don't know."

I could have rolled my eyes, but it was my own stupid fault. I should have been more direct.

"I want you to . . . have one, too," she added.

That wasn't what I expected. It was freaking music to my aching cock's ears.

"Me, too," I said, laughing slightly.

I didn't waste any time unbuttoning my pants and pushing them down. My boxers went next and I palmed my bare cock and looked at Bella.

She was staring. "What should I do?"

I grabbed her hand and brought it to me. She was gentle as she explored, and limited. All she did was slide her hand up and down. My sheets gave me more relief.

I guided her hand to my balls and helped her cup them and touch them, then I took my dick in my hand and started to stroke. It was odd having to instruct her. I was used to being completely at ease during sex, so the changes were a little jarring.

I watched Bella's face as I started to pump, loving how mesmerized she was by the whole scene. It was kind of hot having her watch. Her mouth was open and I thought about how it would feel on my dick. Groaning, I closed my eyes and thought of other things, like her pussy and her ass. Eventually, I was going to fuck all of her. Over and over.

Bella stopped rubbing my balls. Instead of complaining, I closed my eyes and concentrated harder on my dick. I wished she'd suck me off. I wished I could ask her to.

Rose wouldn't need me to ask.

She would push me back on the bed and take me in her mouth, suck me to the point of almost coming and then fuck me the rest of the way. Her toned legs would grip my thighs and her ass would be in my hands, and she would ride me roughly, making sure she got everything she wanted out of my body.

I grunted and spilled out onto myself. Fucking Rose. Holy shit.

The room was silent except for my strained breath, then seemingly out of nowhere, I heard "Wow."

I'd forgotten Bella was even in the room. I opened my eyes a little shamefacedly only to see her looking . . . impressed. Chuckling, I reached over for my box of Kleenex and mopped up.

"That was . . . fun," I half-joked. Bella giggled a little as she hopped off the bed and started pulling on her own clothes. She wasn't upset or being dramatic; I think she'd really enjoyed herself.

Once we finished dressing, she sat down next to me, blushing and not saying anything.

"I guess I should get you home?" I suggested. I was aware it was a little rushed and that I should probably want to spend some time with Bella, but we both had shit to do and her dad would be home soon.

"Sure." She nodded.

I leaned in and kissed her, trying to let her know that she was special. Her face came away looking brighter, less shy, and she smiled.

"Come on."

I took her hand and led her downstairs and out to my car.

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

I didn't invite Bella over on the weekend. Alice was monopolizing her and I didn't want to hang out with both of them, so I let it be. She came over after school on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, though. Every afternoon we made out until finally on Wednesday I got to third base. Bella let me go down on her, and I managed to get two fingers in while I was doing it. She told me after that it had hurt, but that it wasn't so bad. Then she attempted to suck my dick with her gentle, torturous mouth. Unable to stand the teasing, I pulled away and jerked off onto myself. Again.

On Thursday we pulled in at school and Bella and Alice barely said goodbye before they were off to meet the other girls. Alice was talking loudly about the dresses they'd bought on the weekend, not-so-subtlety reminding Jasper and me that she expected us to wear something new.

Jasper gave me a resigned shrug. "You wanna go to Port Angeles this afternoon? Get something to wear?"

It was Thursday. The only place I was going was to Rosalie's house. "Not today," I answered. "I've got—"

"—Piano practice. Right. Whatever." He grimaced and chewed the inside of his mouth. "Next week then?"

"Sure," I answered, a little surprised he still wanted to go. Jasper knew something was up, but he either didn't want to get involved or didn't care. He clearly didn't approve, not with the glare he was giving me.

We stood, not talking and simply waiting for Emmett. He showed up not long after, pulling into the spot beside us with Rose. They both got out and she kissed him on the cheek before saying "bye" to all of us. She was friendly this morning.

"Why so glum?" Emmett asked after taking one look at me and Jasper.

"Nothing," I muttered.

"Edward's a dick," Jasper said.

I shot him a look. If he didn't want to get involved, then he needed to keep his mouth shut altogether. The last thing I needed was Emmett getting suspicious.

"Yeah, but we already knew that," Emmett joked.

Jasper cocked his eyebrow at me, and I didn't know if it was supposed to be condescending or some kind of threat. What was his problem?

I decided it was probably a good idea to get away from him while he was in this mood, so I shouldered my bag.

"See you guys at lunch."

I could hear them from behind me as I walked away. "Seriously, what's up, man?" Emmett asked.

"Nothing," Jasper answered. "Like I said, he's just a dick."

"Lovers' quarrel?"

"Fuck off."

I made it to building three and took a seat under the measly covered area to wait for my class. Maybe I needed to level with Jasper—just tell him everything. That way he could at least stop making snide comments that might well result in me getting my ass kicked by Emmett. The thing was, it was only every now and then that he carried on like this. The other half of the time he didn't act any differently. What was making him so up and down?

School cruised past. On the way to lunch I let Bella know that I wouldn't be able to see her that afternoon and that I'd be dropping her off at home. She didn't seem to mind, just smiled and blushed a little..

After school, we dropped her off first and then Alice and Jasper at home. He didn't say anything else to me, but he did give me a look that made me feel pretty rough. I was being a dick, and he knew it. The sooner I talked to him about it, the better.

I drove to Rosalie's, swallowing the guilt Jasper's look had brought on. My balls weren't completely blue thanks to the fooling around I'd been doing with Bella, but I couldn't wait to be with Rose. I wanted to feel like I wasn't the only one in control again and not have to second-guess everything. It was going to be hard weening myself away from her when the time came.

Rose's mom met me at the door.

Last year she'd had a huge party for no apparent reason, but secretly everyone knew it was her fortieth birthday. There was no cake, no candles, nothing that would indicate she was celebrating that particular milestone. But that was the point. Rose's mom didn't want to be forty. It was like she was celebrating not celebrating it, or something.

Even today she was dressed like Rose—tight jeans and sweater, long flowing blond hair. She wore a lot more make-up than Rose, and there was an air of . . . almost desperation about her that Rose never gave off.

"Edward, honey," she greeted me, her hand going to her hip. "Rosie's upstairs. Do you want anything? Soda?" She moved out of the way to let me in and I smiled gratefully.

"No, thanks, Mrs. Hale."

As I headed up to Rosalie's room, I wondered what it would be like growing up with that woman as my mother. From what Rose had said, Mrs. Hale knew I was here to screw her daughter. She knew Rose was cheating on her boyfriend with me, and yet, she treated me nicely. No disapproval in sight.

No wonder Rose was okay with our arrangement.

Gently, I rapped on Rose's bedroom door and she opened it almost right away.

"Thank God." She yanked on my collar and brought her lips to mine roughly. Her hand went straight to my cock, and she groaned when she found I wasn't hard.

She pulled away and pushed the door shut loudly, then dragged me further into her room. Once she was at her bed, she stopped.

"Hello to you, too," I muttered.

She gave me a dirty look then started unbuttoning my jeans. "You used to be practically exploding by the time Thursday got here." My zipper was lowered and she yanked my jeans down. "I don't even want to think about why you aren't hard right now."

My boxers went next and Rose wasted no time grabbing my dick and trying to remedy the situation.

"Fuck, Rose." I stepped back from her, a little scared.

"What?" She glared at me.

"I don't know . . ." I felt like I was being rushed, like I was being used. But she was just doing what we always did. I sat down on her bed and ran my hands through my hair. "This feels wrong."

She gave a frustrated huff and then said in a resigned tone, "I knew this would happen." She stood up and went straight to her desk, opened her drawer and pulled out the cigarettes.

"I just . . . Jasper has been giving me these looks and then . . ." I didn't mention her mom and the epiphany I'd just had, trailing off instead.

She lit her cigarette and drew in a deep breath. "You sound like such a pussy right now. It's sex, Edward. You really need to be coaxed into it?"

I let out a bitter laugh. "Not usually."

She sighed and took another drag. "Is it because of her?"

Rose didn't respond well to lies. "A little. I don't know, Rose. Don't you hate that we're doing this? Don't you ever feel bad?"

She flipped her hair and stared out across her room. "No. If no one gets hurt, there's nothing to feel bad about."

"What if they ever found out? Emmett would kill me. Bella's never been with anyone before and it would crush her."

Rose looked contrite, but only for a split second. She took another drag and exhaled.

"You're fucking her now?"

I paused before answering. "No."

The look she gave me was scathing. She always preferred honesty.

"You don't really want to know," I said. She rolled her eyes which infuriated me. "Fine, we're at third."

She calmly stubbed out her cigarette and slipped the packet back into her drawer. "You're right—I didn't really want to know. Now all I can picture is your face in between her shapeless legs."

That made me madder. "Hey, I had to hear your boyfriend talk about how you blew him in the car before school the other day. That's not exactly a nice image either, Rose."

"I can't believe we are arguing over this." She threw her head back as though stunned by the stupidity of our situation. "This is not supposed to be complicated." She slumped down on the bed next to me. "Everything was so much easier before she came along."

It was a chink in Rosalie's armor. On some level, our situation was getting to her too.

"It was easier, but it was still fucked up," I said bluntly.

She smiled and it was the type of smile she gave to Emmett, soft with no hidden sharp edges. She leaned into me and playfully kicked her leg against mine.

"We're fucked up," she said, like she was proclaiming it. Her tone was light, like she was enjoying mocking herself—mocking us.

"We are," I agreed, looking down at her. I was trapped in a moment of awe, knowing that this was a part of her she'd never let me see before. Did she even realize she was letting me in?

Her face lifted and our lips were so close. "We should definitely be fucking then," she said seductively. She gently kissed me, drawing me closer to her.

She pushed me back on her bed and rubbed her whole body up my length before taking my dick in her hands and mouth. I couldn't resist. I didn't want to. Something was changing between us, and it turned me on more than anything ever had before.

. ~ . ~ . ~.

A/N: Next chapter should be more Rose.

Thanks for reading and fingers crossed the next one doesn't take so long.

xxx


	12. The Last Polka

A/N: Apologies for the mistakes. I'm going to be posting without a beta now in an effort to hurry up and finish this story before RL gets infinitely more crazy and I have zero time left to write. Thank you to everyone who reviewed or alerted after the last chapter. I read and appreciate all of them but rarely have the time to write a thoughtful reply, which means I usually don't reply at all. Sorry about that, too.

Umm . . . this chapter is a little bit filthy.

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

A week later, not much had changed. Bella and I hadn't moved forward, but I wasn't trying to. What we were doing worked, so I didn't see any reason in pushing her. Not until Rose had left anyway.

It was Thursday again and the day was dragging. It was only lunch time but it felt like I'd been at school for a week already.

"So, the dance—"

A collective groan went up at the table. Alice had not stopped going on about the stupid dance. Every time there was a lull in the conversation, she'd remember something that she had only gone over with us twice already and want to talk about it a third time.

"What? It's in two days!"

"Oh, Alice, really? It's only a dance," Rosalie said appearing bored despite the death stares Alice sent her.

Emmett bowed his head to Rose, spouting, "Woman, I love thee," and she smiled, a little self-satisfied.

Alice was not to be deterred. "Not everyone can just roll out of bed looking like you, Rose."

"I doubt Rose just rolls out of bed looking this way," I said. Rose gave me a playful scowl and I smirked playfully.

"Well, I just want to figure out where Bella and I are getting ready. She's staying at our house, so I wanted to ask her if she wanted to come over earlier to get ready there. Bella, did you want to do that?"

Bella became the center of attention and she shrunk into her shoulders. "Sure."

"Wait a minute," Emmett interrupted, a huge grin spreading across his face. "The Chief said yes?"

Bella nodded, a little smile in place amongst her ruby skin.

"Unbelievable! He must think you're a fucking saint, Eddie!"

I was a little stunned myself. "He really said yes?" I asked her.

She gave me the same little nod she'd given Emmett. "He thinks I'm staying in Alice's room."

Why hadn't she already told me? I chanced a look at Rose and she didn't look like she'd even heard what was going on, but that was only a front. I could see the way her jaw was clenched and how she was stabbing at her salad.

Alice piped up. "Our parents won't say anything. It'll be fine."

Bella blanched when Alice mentioned the rents.

"They'll be there?"

"Of course they'll be. It's their home," I said, annoyed by her stupidity.

"But they're cool, okay?" Alice butted in.

"Okay," Bella agreed, still sounding uncertain.

"Great!" Alice clapped her hands together as if congratulating herself and started blabbering on about what time the limo was coming. Bella and Alice made plans to get ready together and also about coming back to our house afterward. Bella looked even more embarrassed and that's when it hit me that she thought we were going to do it.

Bella thought we were going to have sex. After the dance. At my house.

And I had pretty much just agreed to it.

Emmett gave me a knowing grin and a nod of congratulations. Rose was trying her best to look amused, but I could still see the simmer below the surface. She'd always wanted to know if Bella and I were fucking, like that was her limit. Now she knew that it was definitely on the cards in two days time.

If we still had sex this afternoon, I had no doubt it was going to be rough.

The bell rang and I grabbed Bella's hand to stop her from disappearing with Alice. We waited until all the others had left for class and I turned to face her.

"I wish you'd talked to me about this before." She blushed, making me realise I was admonishing my own girlfriend. "It's just that, now everyone knows our business. We should talk about this before we make any . . . plans."

She sucked the bottom of her lip into her mouth, worried. "Okay."

And then I felt bad because she looked so freaking hurt. And isn't this what I'd wanted—for Bella and me to be in a proper relationship so I could stop fooling around with Rose? Bella was giving me that—giving me herself, and I was being an asshole to her.

Leaning forward, I placed a reassuring kiss on her lips. "Is this really what you want?" She nodded and I cupped her head in my hand, tenderly, before kissing her again. "I don't want you to do anything you're not ready for."

"I'm ready," she said, though she didn't exactly sound like it.

It would be weird for me to try and talk her out of it, but that's what I wanted to do. Bella was sweet and timid and agreeable, everything that Rose wasn't. I felt like I needed to protect her, like I needed to keep her safe.

Instead of telling her that, I stood up and led us to Biology.

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

Rose met me at her door.

"You don't need to be here."

She had no idea how much I needed this. At least one more time. She couldn't cut me off without any warning.

"Come on, Rose. Let me in."

"Why? So you can practice? I don't think so."

She went to slam the door on me but I stepped forward and caught it before she could.

"Let me in," I said, careful not to raise my voice.

She gave an annoyed sigh and stepped away from the door, which left me practically falling through. I righted myself then closed the door to make sure Rose's mom wouldn't be privy to our conversation.

She glared at me from the other side of her room.

"I didn't think the Chief would ever let her spend the night. I didn't know," I tried to explain. Rose didn't budge.

"It's not like I encouraged this," I added.

"Ugh, give it a rest. We all knew this was coming. But seriously, at lunch? I don't need to hear that shit when I'm eating."

"That was the first I'd heard of it as well. If anyone is to blame it's fucking Alice. She can't stop interfering."

"So tell her not to. She's_ your _sister."

Neither of us said anything for a while, so I walked over and sat on her bed to endure the silence. Eventually Rose sat next to me.

"I still want you."

Rose rolled her eyes at me. "I don't think so," she said, not in a nasty tone.

I reached between her thighs and felt her, gently touching her body. Her head twisted away, almost like she was annoyed at herself, as she raised her hips for more pressure. "You're still an asshole," she said, this time making eye contact. There was nothing warm in the way she was looking at me.

"I am," I agreed as I pushed her back further onto the bed.

I pulled down her shorts and the sheer lace of her panties and ran my hand firmly up and down, feeling everything. There was something so erotic about Rosalie; every part of her seemed to scream sex, her whole body luring in every trace of testosterone in my system. She was fleshier than Bella, but it was better that way. And her pussy was the most divine thing in the world.

With that thought, I sank my face down in between her legs, moaning when she was surrounding me. It was intoxicating, always so fucking intoxicating.

Her thighs pressed tightly around my head, driving me insane while I tongued her.

"Right there, oh God."

She was still ordering me around, even while I was going down on her. I briefly considered pulling away, leaving her unsatisfied. I imagined her face, scowling, and somehow just the thought that I could do that to her, that I could take away her pleasure, was enough.

I redoubled my efforts and felt justifiably smug as I made the Ice Queen lose it.

Her body shuddered and she kept gasping for air, her chest heaving up and down, up and down. I wiped my face on her sweater between her breasts, nuzzling their perfection.

"Gross," she murmured, unable to give her voice the right level of disgust while she was coming down from her high.

"You love it," I teased, knowing full well she didn't.

I started kissing her body, biting her nipples through her sweater and making my way toward her neck.

"Eww."

"Of course you love it." I kissed along her jaw, then licked her lips. "You're a total narcissist—you love everything about yourself."

Her expression went from playfully disgusted to stern in the space of a second.

"You're right, I do love it." She said, definitely challenging me.

I licked her lips again, only this time she sucked my tongue into her mouth and moaned. It was so fucking sexy. I wanted more, and wondered just how far she'd let me take this.

My hand returned to its favorite place and I slipped two fingers inside her, making her wriggle from being too sensitive. I thrust them deep, trying to get as much of her on them as possible, and then pulled them out.

"You love it, because you're delicious," I said, bringing my hand back up and tracing my finger along her bottom lip. She didn't even flinched, just looked at me seductively and took them into her mouth.

"Fuck," I groaned. It was too much. I had to fuck her.

I pulled my fingers out so I could get rid of my jeans and boxers and then repeated my actions, wetting my fingers and returning them to her mouth. Only this time, I eased my dick into her at the same time. I groaned loudly. She was really fucking wet.

"Fuck me," she said, her tongue flicking out and lapping at my fingers. I'd never been this turned on—ever. And it was not looking like I was going to last long. I removed my fingers so I could steady myself, and she actually whimpered. Whether it was from my dick or the lack of fingers, I didn't know.

"You want those back, huh? You want more?"

I pulled out with the intention of putting my fingers back in, but then another idea occurred to me. I crawled up her body, wishing she were naked so I could rub my balls on her bare chest. Her eyes widened just the tiniest amount, but then fuck me if she didn't smirk.

"Because you taste so fucking good," I said, bringing myself up to her mouth. Even I could see how much my penis glistened from her.

"The best." And she took me in her mouth and started blowing me. After a few seconds she lay back, relaxed her throat and let me fuck her mouth, then she moved her head away.

"More."

_More?_

I moved back down her body and easily slipped back inside her and started thrusting. She started writhing under me, watching me pound into her with utter awe on her face. Her hips were getting more insistent, and I thought for sure she was going to come.

"More." The word came out as an agonised whisper.

I pulled out, practically trembling from the exertion of holding back. Again, I brought my dick up to her mouth and she eyed it like a woman starved.

When she started sucking me off again, my eyes really did roll back.

"Jesus Christ, Rosalie. You have no idea... _fuck_."

Her expert mouth was doing its thing and I was ready to explode.

She pulled away, her face pained. "More." Her voice was shaky, her eyes pleading. So I did it again, fucked her pussy and then her mouth. And I enjoyed every fucking moment. Her pussy was the most wonderful place in the world, but both of them together . . .

"I'm gonna come. I'm gonna—"

She spat me out. "In me."

I got my dick back inside her as fast as I could, gave four quick thrusts and came, kissing her mouth and relishing tasting her all over it. She clenched around me, drawing out my release until I was spent.

Our lips were still joined, although we'd ceased kissing. Rosalie let out a strained breath and I opened my eyes to look at her, a little afraid of what I'd find. She looked beautiful, lying serenely beneath me, her skin flushed and her closed eyes relaxed. I snaked my arm around and held her, realizing that _this_ Rosalie, I loved. She was perfect in every way.

I felt her relax even further into my embrace, almost sleepily. Her lips were too red, swollen from blowing me. It was surreal, looking at her so peaceful now, and thinking about what just passed between us. It was dirty what we'd just done—what I'd just done. Messed up even. I'd degraded her.

I'd _enjoyed_ it.

I knew she didn't like that sort of thing, and yet I'd pushed ahead with it. I would never do something like that to Bella. _Never_.

Rose's eyes opened and she glared at me, like she'd only just realized what we'd been doing. At first she looked hurt, and kind of scared. Then she looked rightfully pissed off and I knew she was seconds away from throwing me off her and locking herself away in the bathroom.

"Come on," I whispered.

I climbed off her and the bed and held my hand out to her. She sat up and stared at my hand, then at me, and for a moment, I thought she was going to tell me to fuck off. But then she reached out and allowed me to help her up and lead her to the bathroom.

I started the shower and waiting until after she was in to follow. Then I washed her, gently running my hands all over her skin. I should never have used her like that. She was important to me, someone I cared about, and I'd taken our fooling around one step too far. I knew she would never back down from a challenge like that, and I took advantage of her. So I ran my hands over her the way I should have before, tenderly, showing her I cared.

She didn't object to me cleaning her, but she barely tolerated it. As soon as she was clean she was out of the shower and drying herself. I stayed to rinsed myself and give her some space.

When I was finished, I dried off with her towel and tucked it in around my waist. I found her pulling on a clean sweater in her room, so I got the cigarettes and lit one for her. Once she was clean and smoking and there was nothing else I could do to apologize without words, I finally said it.

"I'm sorry," I said, sitting down on the bed next to her.

"It's nothing."

"I got carried away. I shouldn't treat you like that."

She rolled her eyes, and I couldn't help but crack a bit of a smile. "That's what we do, Edward. We get carried away."

I lit my own cigarette and inhaled, feeling the smoke swirl around in my throat.

"You sure you don't mind?"

"I'm sure," she answered, giving me a slight smile. There was something else there though, the look in her eyes wasn't quite right. She did care, she just would never admit to it.

We were silent while we finished our cigarettes, then as I was stubbing mine out, I asked the question that had been burning in me ever since lunch.

"If I sleep with Bella, will you keep seeing me?"

She blew out her last bit of smoke and stretched out on the bed before calmly answering. "No."

I lay down beside her. Maybe if she understood, she wouldn't hold it against me.

"Part of me feels obligated, like I should do it because I'm her fucking boyfriend. And then there's another part that says I should because I'd make it better for her than any of those other assholes in our year."

Rosalie laughed. "Your ego astounds me sometimes."

"I'm not being egotistical. I mean . . . Can you imagine losing your virginity to Mike Newton? That's just . . . gross. At least you had Emmett. Bella doesn't have anyone besides me."

"Emmett wasn't my first," she said casually, like it was common knowledge.

"He wasn't?"

She shook her head. "I used to date Royce King, back before you moved here. He was a pig and I still gave him my virginity."

Emmett and Rose had been together forever, or so I'd thought. "Fuck, how old were you?"

"Fourteen. And don't give me that look—he didn't force me. I was just an idiot."

"Fourteen?"

"You weren't that much older when we first started sleeping together."

"Still."

"I made my choice. It was stupid and I was a fool. He was a piece of shit."

I let her revelation swirl around my head for a minute. "Did you break up?" I asked.

She smiled fondly. "Sort of. Emmett had never liked Royce, and then he heard about some of the stuff Royce had me doing, and he didn't approve. He beat him up. Royce was two years older than us and Emmett put him on his ass." She paused, checking my reaction. "I guess I figured out that I didn't have to be a slut for someone to like me."

It was just so . . . Emmett. He'd been her knight in shining armor, saving her from that sleaze. He had looked out for her and done the right thing-cared about her.

I was just the piece of shit who used her for sex. No wonder she wouldn't leave Emmett.

"Is that why you're still with him?" I asked.

She looked at me like I was an idiot. "Emmett is the nicest guy I know, and I love him."

"So why fuck around on him? If you love him that much . . ."

She sighed. "I'm never going to marry Emmett. He's the loveliest guy I know and he deserves someone better than me." She turned her eyes on me. "I can't be the perfect girl for him . . ."

"So break up with him."

"And hurt him? No way. And he hasn't done anything wrong. What could I say that wouldn't kill him?" She was flustered now, her brow furrowed like she was struggling to hold back emotions.

I took her hand and held it between us. "This would kill him."

She stared at our hands, her fingers gripping mine tightly. "Only if he ever found out."

I nodded, but I still didn't understand how she could do that to him. Did it stem from something deeper? Maybe she didn't like being alone? "We could be together . . ." I began.

"It's not like that with us. And besides," she continued. "I'm leaving soon."

"Right." Rose would be graduating soon, so it would be stupid to fuck things up at this point. That was why I had Bella, why I was taking her to the dance and would no doubt sleep with her after it. There would be no more Rose, but there would also be no more secrets, no more guilt. And hopefully it wouldn't hurt so much when Rose moved away.

"So I guess . . . this is it?" I said.

Rose's thoughts were probably in a similar place. She didn't answer, instead crawling over to me in those tight little shorts, and shutting me up with her lips.

I let her push me back, and let her strip off the towel. I let her ride me until she was close. And then she let me roll her over and love her the way I should have all along. The way she deserved.

If this was our last time together, I was damn well going to make certain it was our best.

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

A/N: Well, I'm guessing you know which scene inspired the penname . . .

Thanks for reading :)


	13. Magic

A/N: Feels like I'm finally making headway with this story. Fingers crossed that feeling sticks around!

Apologies for the numerous mistakes in this chapter. It's late here. Half my brain is asleep.

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

Bella had been sequestered in Alice's room for close to an hour.

I wasn't nervous, not really. Okay, maybe a little. The thing was, Bella seemed even shyer when she'd come to our door, and we'd shared this sort of awkward silence that had left me with a godawful sense of foreboding. If we couldn't be at ease around each other enough to say "hi" there was no way tonight was going to run smoothly. Alice had breezed in and grabbed Bella's hand to lead her upstairs, and I hadn't seen either of them since.

It took me fifteen minutes to get ready, and that included a shower. After I finished dressing, I watched bad TV and listened to Mom and Dad talk about their plans for dinner. They were making themselves scarce for the night so Alice could host her pre-dance "dinner" at the house. She'd already spent several hours today preparing some sort of low fat, full flavor feast.

"We should hijack the kids' limo," Dad was saying, winking at Mom in a flirty way.

"That would be better than having to drive back from Port tonight."

"We don't have to come home," Dad countered. "The kids can look after themselves, and we could get a room."

"As appealing as that sounds, I don't think I could look Charlie Swan in the eye if he ever found out I let his daughter sleepover unsupervised while Edward was home."

"Hey!" I objected, changing the channels with even more frustration.

"Oh, Edward. I know you wouldn't do anything _that_ bad, but Bella is a bit of a delicate flower, and Charlie . . . He's used to seeing the worst in people," Mom said, placating me.

I didn't respond, just kept flicking through the channels before turning the TV off when it became clear there really wasn't anything decent on.

"So we'll drive back," Mom said to Dad. "Probably around midnight," she added. I was sure it was for my benefit.

"You kids better behave," Dad said, pretending to be disappointed about having to come home. Or maybe he really was disappointed. "Absolutely no drinking in the limo."

"What about drinking at home?" I asked, feeling cheeky.

"Bella's father is the Chief of Police, son," Dad said seriously.

It was as close as he'd come to saying no. As long as we kept out of trouble, Mom and Dad were pretty okay with whatever we did. Dad was always clear that we were responsible for our behavior and as long as we didn't mess up, they were a lot more reasonable and lenient than other parents.

Alice came bounding down the stairs then, her bright yellow dress billowing out around her. "Wait 'til you see Bella," she said, bright-eyed and smiling like a crazy woman.

At the top of the stairs, Bella was beginning her descent—a lot slower than Alice had done it. You could see she looked different, but not _too_ different. She had on a blue dress that was the most feminine thing I'd ever seen her in. It was a nice fit, and she looked lovely. Alice had done her hair and added a bit of make-up, and the result was great. She still looked like herself, just . . . better.

"Don't you both look nice," Mom said once Bella had made it down the stairs and was standing shyly behind Alice.

"You look beautiful," I said, not to be outdone by Mom.

"Thanks."

"Well, we'd better go before your friends get here," Dad said, smirking in Alice's direction. She'd been pretty vocal about the 'rents making themselves scarce.

"Good! Have fun!" Alice said, all but herding them out the door.

"No drinking in the limo!" Dad reiterated when she had him outside.

She slammed the door closed and turned to face Bella and me. "Right. Starters!" And with that she flew past and into the kitchen.

Bella was about to leave but I grabbed her arm and pulled her back. "You really do look lovely," I said, leaning in and kissing her lightly on her lips, wanting to reassure her.

Her nerves eased and she wrapped her fingers through mine, smiling. "I think Alice needs some help."

Jasper showed up shortly after Mom and Dad left and he took over being bossed around by Alice so Bella and I were able to escape. We sat on the lounge together and talked, mostly about school and what we had due and our exams which were fast approaching. We absolutely did not talk about what would happen after the dance.

Then the doorbell rang and when I answered it, all my composure disappeared.

Rose had on a long silver dress with a split up the side that hugged her figure perfectly. Her hair was out, the blond curls flowing down her back. The dress was cut a little lower in front, but nothing obscene—just the hint of cleavage, and she looked gorgeous. Elegant. _Womanly_.

I had to fight the urge to reach out and take her hand, to lead her into my house as though she was my date. The realization that I couldn't do anything like that, ever, left me feeling empty inside—like I was missing out.

"You gonna let us in or what?" Emmett boomed.

"Right." I gave him a half-smile and stepped out of the way, watching as he took Rose's hand. Even Emmett looked great. He was wearing the standard dress pants and button-down, maybe a little more hair product than usual—nothing that special—but the way he looked next to Rose . . . It was like he was basking in her, and together they were perfect.

I followed behind them, pointedly not staring at Rosalie's ass, and made my way back to Bella while they went in to find Alice. It hadn't escaped my notice that Rose didn't meet my eyes once, nor talk to me directly. I had a feeling that was how it would be from now on.

"Rose looks beautiful," Bella muttered from beside me once I'd sat down.

At first I thought she was making the comment so I'd reassure her again, but Bella didn't look like that was what she was after. If anything she looked almost apologetic, and I was at a loss as to why she'd feel that way.

"Not nearly as beautiful as you," I said, sounding like I meant it.

Alice called out that dinner was ready before Bella could respond and I quickly stood, offering my hand for Bella to take, then held her firmly, possessively, as we went to join the others.

Dinner was delicious and painful. Everyone else seemed to have a fantastic time, especially Jasper and Emmett. But I couldn't get past how Rose was able to ignore me so completely. And so subtlety—no one else seemed to even notice she was doing it.

The limo showed up exactly on time and Alice had us all filing out to get in. Mom and Dad were paying for it, so none of us actually complained about our ride. But it was ridiculously over the top for a school dance. There are no limos in Forks. None. So everyone knows that this one is from Port Angeles and that that extra two hours of driving doesn't come cheap. Alice didn't care what anyone else thought. She kept throwing around words like "magical" and "night to remember" and we all knew better than to try and argue with her when she was being like that.

In the car, I was seated across from Rose, and at first I took great pleasure in ignoring her like she'd been doing to me. It helped me to feel a little better—more in control of myself—like I wasn't completely enthralled with her. Bella's hand wrapped firmly around mine, and I realized I was too tense and quite obviously not behaving normally. There wasn't enough space though and I couldn't relax, not with us all so . . . confined. I looked at Bella and tried hard to block everyone else out, knowing there were only a few more blocks until we reached the school.

Once there, Bella and I hung back so the others could get out first. Alice cooed about the luck of having a clear night, how she could even see some stars through the patches of cloud. Rosalie slid across the seat and the light of the moon caught her thigh and the uncomfortable feeling in my chest increased.

"Are you okay?" Bella asked from beside me.

"Yeah, just . . . a little warm."

She didn't start to get out like I expected, instead staring down at our joined hands.

"We don't have to—if you don't want to."

I honestly didn't know if she was talking about the dance or . . . after the dance. She was being serious though, and I felt awful. She was all dressed up and had been excited, and now I was ruining her night.

"I want to," I said as convincingly as I could. Then I summoned up some reserves of Cullen charm and smiled the way she liked. "Ready?

"Yeah," she answered, looking noticeably more flushed. There were the nerves I'd been expecting.

And with that, we left the safety of the limo and headed for the gym.

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

It was only a school dance so my expectations had always been pretty low, but the evening was definitely a bust. There was crepe paper and balloons everywhere, trying hard to disguise the fact that we were still at school and failing miserably. A few people were having a good time, mostly Alice and Jasper. They danced no matter what song came on and it wasn't until I saw Emmett pass Jasper a flask that I understood how he could do it. Alice, of course, didn't need any extra encouragement.

Bella spent most of the night by my side, although she did head off with Jessica for a whole ten minutes, and danced with Alice for one song while Jasper took a leak. The rest of the night she was like glue. Not that I minded. At all. I _wanted_ this.

Toward the end of the evening, the DJ started playing slow songs—the kind to get everyone paired up on the dance floor. I could hardly sit on the sidelines with Bella while every other couple danced, so when the third such song came on, I stood and held out my hand, and Bella took it with embarrassing eagerness. We swayed back and forth on the polished wooden floor, just outside the 3-point line, and it was nice.

Then I looked out over the small crowd and locked eyes with Rose for the first time all night.

I caught the sad look on her face before she'd managed to mask it, and it was enough to break me. I told her with my eyes that it should be us together, that I should be the guy with my arms around her waist, and I really felt that, knew it with my very soul. She narrowed her eyes at me in response, and yes, she was right to, because I'd wanted Bella by my side. But . . . that wasn't really true. I could see that now. As clear as the starry sky outside the damn gym.

_If_ I'd ever had the choice, it would have been Rose all along. She needed to give me a chance.

I tried to mouth words at her, to silently tell her what I felt, but Emmett had drawn back and she was smiling at him as he started leading her to twirl. He was completely enamoured with her, watching as she turned under his arm, the tacky disco light catching her silver dress and making it sparkle. Like magic.

And then the song finished and somewhere a teacher began turning the lights back on and it was just typical that when I needed the stupid dark of the dance, it would be over.

And then the other thing hit me, the thing that Bella and I were doing _after_ the dance. It was too soon, though. My mind started racing because Rose and I had just had a moment and that was what I needed to deal with—I had to explain things to Rose.

Bella pulled away and tugged self-consciously at her dress.

"I guess it's time to go," she stated, looking around for the others.

"Guess so," I muttered, feeling more uncomfortable than Bella looked and tracking Rose and Emmett with my eyes. We followed them off the dance floor.

Alice was starry-eyed as she gathered us all together, high from the constant dancing and probably a sip of Emmett's bourbon. Rose laughed at her, saying how adorable it was to see Alice like that. "Like a tiny version of Emmett," she added. Emmett was wearing the same goofy looking smile. They were all too close—there was no way I could somehow drag her away. And she wasn't meeting my eyes again.

As I took a deep breath, I realized it was probably already too late.

The teachers said goodnight to everyone with too cheery voices, clearly glad the night was over so they could finally knock off. I led Bella past them, feeling like a fraud. My touch on her arm was wooden, perfunctory. There was no doubt in my mind now that this wasn't exactly what I wanted—it was just the next best thing.

"We'll drop Rose and Emmett off first," Alice said, climbing in and collapsing on the leather seat.

"My house," Emmett added, which made me raise an eyebrow in disbelief. Rosalie's mom always expected her home and in her own bed at night.

"You sleeping over, Rose?" I asked, unable to rein in my curiosity.

"You could call it that," she answered, barely flicking her eyes in my direction.

It was like she wanted to hurt me.

The knowledge that they were staying the night together was another weight I didn't want in my chest, another reason to be jealous of Emmett, another reminder that I had fucked up. So I did the only thing I could and pretended that it wasn't such a big deal. Hell, wasn't I going to do the same thing with my girlfriend?

All I could smell during the drive to Emmett's was the stale sweat and bourbon that seemed to leak out of Jasper. Alice was still laughing about the night in general with Emmett, gossiping about things I'd failed to notice. Then we'd pulled up outside the low fence at Emmett's house and he and Rose were getting out, managing to hold hands through the whole process. They stood on the sidewalk under the street light and waved goodbye as we pulled away from the kerb.

My last shred of hope for Rosalie and me slipped by with barely acknowledged regret.

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

It started with kissing. I laid Bella back gently on my bed, not wanting to rush her or make her feel like she couldn't stop if she wanted. Every time I asked, she assured me with more "It's okay," and "I want to." It was too easy to be like that with her, too easy to take things slow, almost mechanical. I tried to summon the same level of passion that drove me whenever I was with Rose, but the only way to do that was to picture her, all silver curves and blond hair.

There was no way I was going to think of Rose now. Not even I was that low.

I put the image out of my mind and focused on Bella, on kissing her and feeling her. The only thing I saw as I slipped her dress from her shoulders was Bella's face—wide-eyed and trusting.

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

A/N: Thanks for reading :)


	14. Bastard

A/N: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

Bella pulled her dress straps back up to cover her chest and folded her hands in her lap.

"I'm sorry," I muttered, then groaned into my hands. "I don't know what's happening."

She shifted around on the edge of the bed some more, straightening her clothes and looking like she wanted to flee. Finally she stopped, gave me a tight smile and a resigned shrug.

"It's Rosalie, isn't it?"

I stopped trying to claw my eyes out and froze.

"Rose hasn't got anything to do with this," I lied, sounding as indignant as I could.

"Edward, I'm not blind. I know you have a . . . a thing for her. And I understand if that's why . . ."

And what could I say to that? Bella—quiet, unassuming, _nice_ Bella—had noticed. I'd always assumed she was pretty oblivious, or at least too innocent to suspect. And now, even when she thought her boyfriend had a thing for another girl, she was being ridiculously understanding, even offering me an out. What sort of girlfriend did that?

How selfless could she be?

I didn't really want to lie to her, so I settled on half-truths.

"I used to have a thing for Rose."

"And now?" she asked, eyebrows raised. "You look at her, like, all the time."

Sighing, I ran my hands through my hair. "Now . . . I'm—I'm not sure."

She nodded and finally looked disappointed. "Maybe we should put all this on hold. At least until you're a little clearer on what it is you want."

I couldn't tell her that things _finally_ were clear, that only an hour ago I'd figured out what I wanted all along. Because what I wanted wasn't Bella, and I'd already hurt her enough for one night.

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea."

She ran her fingers along the soft fabric of her dress a few times. "I doubt I can go sleep in Alice's room yet."

"Right," I said, feeling even worse. She was stuck with me until Alice and Jasper were finished and she could escape into Alice's room. Bella's brow was furrowed and her lips pressed together, the bottom one no doubt clamped between her teeth—definitely upset. She really didn't deserve this.

"Kitchen?" I suggested.

"Okay."

Her voice was higher than normal, so it was clear to me that Bella was pissed off and trying to hide it. If our roles were reversed, I would have been blatantly fuming, but she was trying to be okay with everything. I didn't even know if she was more upset about us not having sex or whether it was reason behind it, but it wasn't like I was going to ask.

"Drink?" I offered once we were sitting at the counter.

"Sure—soda?"

I grabbed one out of the fridge and passed it to her. The silence resettled and I searched for a topic of conversation.

"Was I really that obvious?" I asked, stupidly.

Bella glanced up, her eyes showing the hurt she'd been hiding.

"I wouldn't have dated you if I thought it was true. There was just a feeling I had, and when you . . . tonight . . . it seemed like the most likely reason."

"I really do like you, Bella," I said, because I hated that I'd made her feel like she wasn't the most important girl to me. "You're sweet and beautiful, and caring." Bella gave a little huff but smiled shyly. "You're everything she isn't," I added, wanting her to know she was the better person.

Bella's eyes dropped back to the countertop and the furrow was back. "Yeah," she agreed.

This was impossible. Everything I said seemed to make things worse. I was just prolonging the misery for Bella. The bright digital display on the oven said it was half past eleven, so Alice and Jasper _had_ to be finishing up. Surely.

"I'm just going to . . ." I pointed upstairs, not wanting to specifically mention Jasper and Alice having sex, pretty sure that would be yet another sore point for Bella. I walked up the stairs, loudly, and then when reached my sister's room, knocked firmly on the door.

It swung open almost straight away, and Jasper greeted me, shirt unbuttoned but otherwise clothed.

"Parents home?"

"They will be soon. Bella's ready for bed," I said, making my voice as innuendo free as possible.

Jasper still grinned at me though, then ducked back in the room and said goodnight to Alice before stepping out and pulling the door closed behind him.

"How is she?" he asked.

"Uh." There wasn't much I could say that she wouldn't overhear. "We didn't . . ."

It was kind of obvious once we were downstairs. Bella was still in her dress, her hair not quite as styled but far from messy. And then there was the look on her face—the disappointment and self-consciousness.

Sometimes Jasper knew not to be a dick.

"Alice's decent," he said, lightly tapping Bella on the shoulder and giving her a wink.

Bella smiled gratefully. "Night, Edward," she muttered, then headed toward the stairs.

"Goodnight," I said back, but she didn't turn around.

When she was out of hearing range, Jasper turned on me. "What did you do?" His voice was not accusing in tone, more long-suffering friend.

I slumped down on the stool next to him. "I couldn't do it."

"You couldn't?" Jasper asked, clearly not believing me.

"I just . . . it wasn't right." _With the whole Rose thing_, I thought, not able to put it in words.

Jasper shook his head. "And you only just figured that out? Right when you were about to take her v-card? Christ, Edward. No wonder she looked sad."

I grimaced. "It wasn't like I didn't try. I just . . ." Being vague wasn't helping. "Look, I haven't had a problem with Bella before so I didn't know there was one. Turns out, I'm not really attracted to her. In that way."

"Wait. I'm confused."

"Me too." I ran my hands through my hair a few times, trying to figure out how best to explain what had happened. "Before, I would always think about, you know, Rose, and then it was easy. I couldn't do that to Bella tonight. It would have been wrong."

"Oh shit," Jasper groaned.

"I know," I agreed.

"Not that you idiot." Jasper glared at me, his jaw set. "Why did you have to say it?"

"Say what," I asked, not following.

"_Rose_," he said, equal parts exasperated and annoyed.

"You already know. What's the big deal?" He was the one who'd told me I had to sort things out with her before. It wasn't like this was a surprise.

He let out another groan. "Because now I for sure. There's no more plausible deniability." His voice had a resigned edge to it, like he knew this day was coming.

"What?"

He stared at me and sighed, sending wafts of stale bourbon my way. "I can't say I didn't know anymore." He pushed his stool back, grating it along the tiles noisily. "Bed time," he said, heading toward the stairs.

His breath reminded me he was still drunk, so I stopped trying to understand what he was talking about and followed him up. He collapsed on my lounge and I threw a blanket and pillow at him before pulling off my jeans and shirt and climbing into my own bed.

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

I didn't see Bella the next morning. Alice left a note on the counter saying she'd taken her home in my car. Mom read the note and looked enormously relieved, as though she had proof that Bella really was in Alice's room. She didn't seem nearly as tense when she offered me an orange juice.

Alice came home shortly after and gave me a very dirty look. I shrugged in a 'what the hell?' way, indicating how Mom was _right there_. Alice shrugged straight back at me before going and sitting on the couch and glaring until I'd followed.

"Can we do this later?" I asked quietly once I was sitting next to her.

"I'm so angry at you!" she whispered back. "Bella was so excited and now she's crushed. You're an awful boyfriend."

"Well, technically, I don't think I'm her boyfriend anymore," I said, switching on the TV to try and drown out our conversation.

"And Rosalie? Really, Edward?"

_Whoa._

For some reason, I'd assumed Bella would keep that between us. Obviously I'd been wrong.

"It's not like that," I said, starting to get a very bad feeling.

"She has Emmett!"

"I know!"

Alice pulled a cushion up to her chest and hugged it. She was really upset about this.

"You're so horrible sometimes, you know that."

I shook my head, not because I was disagreeing with her, but because I had no idea what I was supposed to say.

Jasper came downstairs then, freshly showered and looking a whole lot better than last night. He made a beeline for Alice and when he saw she was upset, sent yet another withering look my way.

That was enough loathing for me.

"I'm going for a drive," I said, standing up and feeling like I should say more.

"Don't bother. We're going to Jasper's." She slammed the cushion into the corner of the couch as she stood up, venting some of her anger, and I sat back down, maybe a little scared. "We'll check on Bella later—make sure you haven't completely crushed her self-esteem," she added.

"Be home later," she yelled out so that Mom could hear, then started gathering her things once Mom yelled "okay" back.

"And Edward," Alice said suddenly, a hurtful, mean gleam in her eyes. "I'm telling Emmett." Then she was turning and striding toward the door. When the door slammed, the noise echoed through my head.

I was fucked.

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

A/N: Thanks for reading :)


	15. You Don't Know Me

A/N: Not a lot of love for Alice, huh? idk, siblings don't always get along, especially when they cheat on the other's best friend. Try not to judge her too harshly.

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

I spent the first few hours after Alice left hiding in my room with my phone switched off. Everything was blowing up in my face and there wasn't anything I could do to stop it. And frankly, I was a little terrified because Emmett was going to _destroy_ me.

Every loud noise in the house made me jump as though it was him about to come barging into my room, ready to tear me limb from limb. I wasn't used to this level of anxiety and it was driving me crazy. I had to get out of the house.

But where the hell could I go?

I knew where I wanted to go. Rosalie's. It was like some sick, masochistic, moth-to-the-flame urge that was constantly humming away in my chest. It wasn't like I expected her to _want_ to see me. In fact, I had a pretty clear idea of what my reception would be like—icy, cold. But maybe that was a good thing. Maybe giving her the chance to scream at me now would make Monday at school less awful, and maybe leave me free to concentrate on avoiding Emmett.

I grabbed my keys and said goodbye to Mom and Dad, pretending I didn't notice the looks on their faces. They knew something was wrong. Alice hadn't exactly been subtle this morning.

Within minutes, I was sitting in my car outside Rose's house trying to work up the guts to go in and face her. No, not work up the guts. I was trying to figure out how I could explain it to her. How I could let her know that I'd managed to ruin everything. Because that's what better people did, right? Faced their problems and the consequences? Didn't put things off?

I dragged my feet to the door, rang the doorbell and waited for someone to answer. Rose's mom opened the door a moment later, a look of concern on her face.

"Oh, Edward. Rosie's upstairs," she said, urging me inside with a hand to my back. "She's a little . . . upset."

"I was afraid of that," I muttered, looking toward the stairs.

"I think her and Emmett finally broke up," she added, and I could have sworn she looked pleased by her announcement. Then I remembered what Rose said and I felt sick. Her mom never did like Emmett that much. She was probably fucking delighted by this.

"Emmett's a great guy. He really looked after Rose," I said, wanting, no, _needing _to defend him. I was the one Mrs. Hale should dislike. Not Emmett.

"I'm sure she'll find someone better," she answered, her eyes looking at me expectantly, like she thought I agreed.

Turning away, I headed up the stairs before I said something nasty.

Rose didn't answer her door, but when I turned the handle it was unlocked. She was sitting on her bed, cross-legged and glaring at the phone she had in her hands.

"You shouldn't be here," she said, calmly, not glancing up from the screen.

"You've talked to him?"

"Yes." She pressed something and set the phone down on her bedside table before turning the full force of her glare on me. "I can't believe you."

"I didn't mean for this to happen."

She scoffed. "You know the worst part?" She swiped at her nose and I finally noticed how her eyes were tinged pink, the pile of Kleenex next to the bed. "He doesn't even hate me."

"So you two are okay? You're still together?"

"He's not an idiot, Edward." At my confused look, she added. "He broke up with me." She huffed out a loud breath.

As awful as it was, I felt better after hearing that. Slowly, I approached the bed and sat on the end, not too close. This was my chance. Rosalie was single; if I could just get her to understand how I felt, let her know how everything had happened, maybe this could work. Then maybe this entire disaster hadn't been for nothing.

"Have you talked to Alice?" I asked.

"No."

"What did Emmett tell you? About what happened?"

She straightened slightly. "That you and Bella broke up last night, and it was because you had a _thing_ for me. He said he didn't think anything of it at first, but then Jasper told him what he knew." She shook her head. "How could you tell her?"

"I didn't. She . . . she'd figured it out on her own." Rosalie's eyes were wide with disbelief but I didn't elaborate. The truth was that I'd admitted my feelings to Bella, and if I hadn't, none of this would be happening.

"Maybe this is all for the best?" I ventured. "I mean, I didn't belong with Bella—even she could see that—and you and Emmett were going to split up soon anyway. Graduation isn't that far off . . . " I trailed off under Rosalie's scorching look.

"I'm a lot of things, Edward, but I'm not _that_ cold-hearted. If you think for a second that I would hook up with you straight after hurting Emmett, you're the biggest fool."

Quickly, I tried to recover. "Okay, I get that you don't want to hurt him anymore. But . . . we could still see each other—like before. No one has to know. And . . . I didn't sleep with Bella, Rose. I couldn't."

Her mouth was pulled tight. "No, you didn't, did you. You what? Tried to be a better man? Finally decided to keep your dick in your pants? That doesn't make you a good person, Edward."

She was infuriating. "I didn't sleep with her because I don't feel that way about her. How does that make me the bad guy?" How was it she could always find fault with what I did. Sometimes it felt like I could never live up to Rosalie's standards.

She glared at me. "I think you should never have started seeing her in the first place, _if you didn't feel that way about her_," she replied, her tone mocking.

My blood began to boil as I remembered that this was why Rose and I would never work. How could I have forgotten how nasty she could be, how unforgiving? Why did I think we could be anything more?

"Fine. Whatever. We'll just pretend you haven't been doing that _all along_—stringing me along when you only had feelings for Emmett. I'm the only Bad Guy in this. You've been a fucking angel!"

I stood up and walked, out of her room, out of her house, letting the front door slam behind me and not caring what Mrs. Hale thought. Anger was still pulsing through my body, making me want to lash out. How could she be so one-sided? How dare she judge me for what I did with Bella?

Blinded by rage, I hadn't noticed there was another car parked behind mine. I didn't see a huge, menacing, _angry_ Emmett get out of it and start approaching me. By the time I looked up, he already had his fist cocked.

"You lying little piece of shit!" echoed through my mind as the blow connected, snapping my head back, the crack sounding in my whole head well before the sensation registered.

My last thought before I passed out was that being king hit by Emmett McCarty was the single most painful experience in my life.

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

"The cold will slow the swelling."

"We don't have to torture him. Really, Carlisle, you'll freeze his face."

Only one of my eyes would open. The other was sealed shut with something really fucking cold.

"Mom?"

"Oh good, you're conscious."

Dad moved away from me and Mom came into my small field of vision. I was lying down, but not in my room. It was the couch.

I heard Dad's voice from the direction of the kitchen. "He's okay, Rose. I'll give you a lift home if you want."

"Thanks."

I tried to sit up Mom's hands held me in place.

"Rose?" I yelled.

The look on Mom's face was painful, like she was biting back words.

Rose's voice was hesitant, broken. "Bye, Edward."

"Back soon," Dad added, his tone unfittingly bright.

After the door closed, I looked at Mom and waited for the lecture.

"Rose brought you home in your car. She said Emmett helped to load you up even though he was still mad. Apparently he felt bad for acting so impulsively."

I winced. "Did she tell you why he was so mad?"

"Yes." Mom looked down at my shirt and straightened it unnecessarily. "And I'm . . . disappointed. We didn't raise you to treat your friends that way. Or the girls you like."

I closed my eyes, hoping to block out how sad my mom looked.

"I always knew you cared for Rosalie, but I also thought you cared about Emmett."

"Here we go again," I muttered. Mom raised her eyebrows and waited for me to explain.

"What's pissing me off—"

She cleared her throat.

"What's . . . getting to me the most," I amended, "is that everyone is on my back about how I've done the wrong thing. Why isn't anyone mad at Rose?"

Mom pulled the ice pack off my face to check the damage. "What makes you think they aren't?"

Mostly, it was the way people kept telling me off, or hitting me: Jasper, Alice, Rose, Emmett, and now Mom.

"I bet you didn't lecture Rose about how she wasn't raised to treat people like that."

"Well, that's not my place. What I do know is that there was a very upset girl here who wasn't the same strong, independent woman she normally is. She's lost her boyfriend and her best friend today, not to mention witnessing what happened to you. I think it's safe to say that Rose is getting her fair share of grief over what happened."

I frowned, wishing Mom would just side with me to make me feel better. But then . . . she wouldn't be Mom if she did that.

"Do you think Rose hates me?" I asked.

Mom leaned back further into the lounge, her eyes cast to the ceiling. "No. I don't think she hates you. But Edward?" Her eyes came back to stare at me, appealing.

"Yes."

"You need to give her some space. And you need to do the right thing by everyone from now on. That includes Bella and Emmett."

I squirmed under her gaze, feeling a lot more guilt than necessary.

"Okay."

. ~ . ~ . ~ .

A/N: So . . . I have my own little newborn at home which is why the writing is slowwwww. I will finish the story, it might just take a while.

Thanks for reading x


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